overheard in melbourne.....

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:17 pm

thursday night.....

man: "....... it burns, like stings real bad!"
woman: "what does?"
man: "sniffing coccaine, like burns the fuck out ya nose, really stings"
woman: (laughing) "no it doesn't!! you idiot"

---------------------------------------------
then today.....

man1: "what were you just saying??"
man2: "I was saying you were a fuckhead"
man1: "Oh, ok then"

spiral · Post by **spiral** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:28 pm

"fuck you number 15" extremely drunk guy at football, who dropped his pie down the gap in the back of pants of the guy infront of him, then tried to grab the pie out of his arse crack

same o · Post by **same o** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:20 pm

rofl, my mate got spewed on by a chick at the footy..

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:27 pm

"i bought rob* a property. he had a bit of a drug problem, so i thought it was the right thing to do."
- some guy on brunswick st.

*name changed for confidentiality.

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:29 pm

"jesus christ there are some strange fucking characters here tonight"

- dude with foot tall green mohawk at pennywise last night. rofl.

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:33 pm

"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"

10 year old girl dancing and singing during lunchtime at the primary school up the road from my house.

FunkyJ · Post by **FunkyJ** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:20 pm

Someone at work was talking about the movie "The Fly", and explaining how the fly gets into the machine seconds before the experiment, and another guy, who's quite young, goes "oh you mean like in that Simpson's episode?"

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:33 pm

overheard on the TV (while steve was watching the footy)....

commentator1: "outstanding play by the swans"
commentator2: "although, you could see big cocks in the background"

wtf!!?!?!

(the players name was cox (or cocks))

lol

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:36 pm

Gold!

And yes, Dean Cox.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:47 pm

Direktor wrote:
Gold!

And yes, Dean Cox.

I didn't hear this one.....

but it's a similar football commentator announcing a Brisbane Game..

Commentator - "Brown.... Skids..... Marks......... Oh Dear"

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:53 pm

Awesome... wasn't Cometti was it?

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:43 pm

-"Babies don't come out of overies, ya know"
-"Yeah they dont come out of dicks either"

Lephrenic · Post by **Lephrenic** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:39 pm

A gay dude at my work has the funniest lines ever.

(staring at handsome guy)
"That reminds me, I must eat later."

(during a conversation about insomnia)
"Yeah, I was tossing a lot last night too."

(when the thumb-in scanner at the front end of the office wasn't working for one employee)
"Sure, I'll help you thumb in. Just let me take you up the back end."

Incorrigible.

@MILCO@ · Post by **@MILCO@** » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:56 am

" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:14 am

"Well now I know where my dog got my stupidity from"

"Is that a plane or a star? Because if that a plane I just wished on it"

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:40 pm

Special Hegg wrote:A gay dude at my work has the funniest lines ever.

(staring at handsome guy)
"That reminds me, I must eat later."

(during a conversation about insomnia)
"Yeah, I was tossing a lot last night too."

(when the thumb-in scanner at the front end of the office wasn't working for one employee)
"Sure, I'll help you thumb in. Just let me take you up the back end."

Incorrigible.

lol, thats awesome, funny fella.

cha_chaos · Post by **cha_chaos** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:07 pm

FunkyJ wrote:Someone at work was talking about the movie "The Fly", and explaining how the fly gets into the machine seconds before the experiment, and another guy, who's quite young, goes "oh you mean like in that Simpson's episode?"

i hear that every time i reference a movie... who the hell am i hanging out with?

lol

mizuhodai · Post by **mizuhodai** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:10 pm

@MILCO@ wrote:" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!

was the person japanese?

Post by **breaksRbest** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:31 pm

overheard this morning....

(neighbour)
"buy a shooter.....(inaudible)...about a thousand bucks......(inaudible).......put him in a coffin.....(inaudible)

I wish I'd heard the rest of it

a1studmuffin · Post by **a1studmuffin** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:45 pm

Geez! But just a thousand bucks for a hit? Doesn't seem like much if you ask me!!

Charlie73 · Post by **Charlie73** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:46 pm

You have one interesting Neighbour mate....

He is um LOUD to say the least

Post by **huge** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:54 pm

mizuhodai wrote:
@MILCO@ wrote:" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!
was the person japanese?

or chinese! literal translation is "big wind"

Post by **breaksRbest** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:55 pm

now he's playing Trance music and wolf whistling to it

Charlie73 · Post by **Charlie73** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:08 pm

OH lord!

It gets better and better

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:19 pm

In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:14 pm

gold bs, pure gold

@MILCO@ · Post by **@MILCO@** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:12 pm

black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."

damn thats nasty.....

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:02 am

black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."

and then was there a loud 'ttiink' as the kidney stone colided with the urinal?

spiral · Post by **spiral** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:14 am

removal of kidney stones Deadwood style ouch

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:30 am

flippo wrote:
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
and then was there a loud 'ttiink' as the kidney stone colided with the urinal?

Or a dull splat as infectious pus dripped onto the metal grate.

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:12 pm

black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."

maybe he wanted you to kiss is better?

you look like an obliging chap bs.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:23 pm

black star wrote:Or a dull splat as infectious pus dripped onto the metal grate.

WRONG!!!

retzie · Post by **retzie** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:30 pm

black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."

Mebbe just recently pierced....

Stray · Post by **Stray** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:46 pm

retzie wrote:
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Mebbe just recently pierced....

If so he wouldn't be pissing at the urinal.. he'd be sitting down in a cubicle.

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:58 pm

witty_pseudonym wrote:
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
maybe he wanted you to kiss is better?

you look like an obliging chap bs.

I don't kiss strangers.

retzie · Post by **retzie** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:16 pm

Stray wrote:
retzie wrote:
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.

Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Mebbe just recently pierced....
If so he wouldn't be pissing at the urinal.. he'd be sitting down in a cubicle.

Really depends on which piercing

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:07 am

Woman talking to her 3-year-old kid.

"Ooohh... I know. Let's get Jaws 2 and 3... mummy hasn't seen them in years".

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:14 pm

C.I.A. wrote:Woman talking to her 3-year-old kid.

"Ooohh... I know. Let's get Jaws 2 and 3... mummy hasn't seen them in years".

responsible child rearing

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:44 am

hey i watched Jaws when i was about that age. i turned out fine lol

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:46 am

o rilly?

FunkyJ · Post by **FunkyJ** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:03 pm

"Then our Goal Attack head butted their Goal Keeper and it was on"...

Some women in the street talking about their last netball game.

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:19 pm

FunkyJ wrote:"Then our Goal Attack head butted their Goal Keeper and it was on"...

Some women in the street talking about their last netball game.

Western suburbs??

just joking. Would've loved to be a fly on the wall at that netball game

10.15 · Post by **10.15** » Wed May 14, 2008 12:26 pm

Saturday night out the front of Cookie:

"... people don't know that Asians are much taller in Asia, its only the really short ones that migrate to Australia..."

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Wed May 14, 2008 12:48 pm

wtf? that's fucking lol and disturbing.

i heard a great one the other day but can't remember it.

Ani · Post by **Ani** » Wed May 14, 2008 12:55 pm

Outside night owl:

Whingy girl: "Where are going?"

Friend: "McDonalds. McDonalds makes everyone happy!"

RK · Post by RK » Wed May 14, 2008 5:34 pm

Ani wrote:Outside night owl:

Whingy girl: "Where are going?"

Friend: "McDonalds. McDonalds makes everyone happy!"

also lol and disturbing

same o · Post by **same o** » Wed May 14, 2008 6:10 pm

10.15 wrote:Saturday night out the front of Cookie:

"... people don't know that Asians are much taller in Asia, its only the really short ones that migrate to Australia..."

actually that is a known fact..

it aint lies..

deejaypcp · Post by **deejaypcp** » Thu May 15, 2008 3:02 pm

this isn't from Melbourne nor is it recent, but both my mate and i cracked up when we heard this many years ago at a regurgitator gig in brisbane.
girl - wanna go home and fuck then?
guy - sure
girl - well, I'm on the rag, but you can rip right into my shitter

Lephrenic · Post by **Lephrenic** » Thu May 15, 2008 3:09 pm

oh lol

spazz · Post by **spazz** » Thu May 15, 2008 3:19 pm

deejaypcp wrote:this isn't from Melbourne nor is it recent, but both my mate and i cracked up when we heard this many years ago at a regurgitator gig in brisbane.
girl - wanna go home and fuck then?
guy - sure
girl - well, I'm on the rag, but you can rip right into my shitter

I could not stop laughing when I read this............GOLD!