$900 coming your way, courtesy of your children

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:24 pm

The $12.7 billion cash payments will include one-off bonus payments of $950 each for low- and middle-income households and individuals through five bonuses to be paid in the next few weeks through either the Australian Tax Office or Centrelink.

It means 8.7 million workers earning $100,000 or less will receive a lump sum payment of $950 each from April.

About 1.5 million single-income families will also receive the payment, provided they receive Family Tax Benefit Part B, in the fortnight beginning March 11.

Farmers will also receive a $950 bonus payment, as will families eligible for FTB Part A who have a child at school. They will receive an immediate payment of $950 this week.

The government will also provide a one-off $950 training and learning bonus for eligible students and people outside of the workforce returning to study to help with the costs of education and training.

The package, which is virtually a mini-budget in all but name, is the second major economic stimulus package announced by the government since the $10.4 billion economic security strategy released in October.

$88.7 billion and counting

It takes the total amount spent by the government on stimulating the economy since September to $88.7 billion, including bank deposit guarantees, the car industry package, as well as investment in residential-backed mortgage securities, local government, infrastructure projects, and on the states through the Council of Australian Governments (COAG).

The statement said while the nation was in a better position than most other countries to weather the global recession, Australia could no longer ''resist the pull of global economic forces''.

The infrastructure spending in this package involves a major roll-out of $890 million to fix accident black spots, install rail boom gates, repair regional roads and build community infrastructure such as libraries, town halls, community centres and sport centres.

Schools around Australia will benefit from $14.7 billion over three years to construct school halls, libraries, indoor sports facilities and performing arts centres.

The package includes funds of between $250,000 and $3 million for primary schools for capital expenditure projects and $1 billion for the construction of science and language laboratories in secondary schools, while all schools will be able to apply for extra funding of between $50,000 and $200,000 for minor maintenance and infrastructure.

SOURCE: http://business.theage.com.au/business/ ... tml?page=2

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:28 pm

hookers and blow

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:28 pm

Bang!

quiet roar · Post by **quiet roar** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:31 pm

Happy about the infrastructure spending. $12.7 bil. should also have been used properly instead of being thrown away via cash payments, IMO.

But as the bear says, it's party time!

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:40 pm

for serious??? I'm getting $950 for free?

blimey

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:43 pm

deviant wrote:for serious??? I'm getting $950 for free?

blimey

there is a k-rudd blowie clause, but yeah still better than normal rates.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:47 pm

so, does it get funnelled through your employer? or do you need to apply?

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:49 pm

deviant wrote:so, does it get funnelled through your employer? or do you need to apply?

the blowie or the money?

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:51 pm

$950 doesn't buy much crack these days.

Shifty-Sly · Post by **Shifty-Sly** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:51 pm

mine will go as the down payment on a NS7...... Thanks K-Rudd

Shifty-Sly · Post by **Shifty-Sly** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:53 pm

Or Dennon DNS 3700's

Post by **huge** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:55 pm

will they be taxing that payment?

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:57 pm

doubt it.

almax · Post by **almax** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:57 pm

black market stimulus package imo

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:03 pm

almax wrote:black market stimulus package imo

Racist.

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:08 pm

i get that joke..

most hillarity

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:09 pm

lol, kevin gets 8.7 million blowies

sore?

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:14 pm

free monies!
i can't help but be a little skeptical though.

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:14 pm

deviant wrote:lol, kevin gets 8.7 million blowies

sore?

they called him kevin (iron cock) rudd when he was in high school.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:16 pm

Hmm. One $950 hookerbot, or 950 $1 hookerbots...

FoundationStepper · Post by **FoundationStepper** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:17 pm

tax cuts would have been better IMO

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:20 pm

same o wrote:
deviant wrote:so, does it get funnelled through your employer? or do you need to apply?
the blowie or the money?

I'll blow Kev directly, but no way am I sucking off my boss. He's married, it just wouldn't be right.

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:26 pm

k-rudd is married aswell...

but ey, ud be famous if it got out.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:39 pm

same o wrote: but ey, ud be famous if it got out.

...which i guarantee it would. Bare hidden camera biz

almax · Post by **almax** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:45 pm

same o wrote:k-rudd is married aswell...

but ey, ud be famous if it got out.

dont forget to save some pearl jam for your blue dress

Fents · Post by **Fents** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:41 pm

QP > Buy > Sell > Double monies.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:46 pm

Fents wrote:QP > Buy > Sell > Double monies.

Close, but the actual formula is:

Crown Casino > Pokies > Greyhounds > Double monies.

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:53 pm

wow...I feel like i'm reading an ITM thread.

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:07 pm

huge wrote:will they be taxing that payment?

I called the tax department at work, it would appear not at this stage

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:21 pm

man, this is wicked....

maybe I'll spend it overseas lol

ulyssian · Post by **ulyssian** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:22 pm

more on rent assistance and students IMO... I would happily not care for the cash.... but will take anyway!!

wankwankwankwankwank

quick · Post by **quick** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:31 pm

me not eligible

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:32 pm

Hmm. I forgot to do a tax return. Hope i'm still elligble for the crack giveaway. Somehow I think i'll miss out

ulyssian · Post by **ulyssian** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:36 pm

quick wrote:me not eligible

spare change really.

L-J · Post by **L-J** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:36 pm

You and me both.

Sociopathic · Post by **Sociopathic** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:37 pm

Hardy wrote:Hmm. I forgot to do a tax return. Hope i'm still elligble for the crack giveaway. Somehow I think i'll miss out

DAMNIT REALLY!!??

Is that how its gonna work?

I didn't do mine either, FARK! THAT SUX!

Shifty-Sly · Post by **Shifty-Sly** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:38 pm

quick wrote:me not eligible

Why not Quick?

quick · Post by **quick** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:39 pm

earn too much

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:40 pm

quick wrote:me not eligible

My heart bleeds for you quick. Damn fucking +$100k pay cheque, it must be tough.

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:41 pm

kronz wrote:
quick wrote:me not eligible
My heart bleeds for you quick. Damn fucking +$100k pay cheque, it must be tough.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:41 pm

quick wrote:earn too much

Plus, convicted sex offenders are also inelligible.

L-J · Post by **L-J** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:41 pm

How do you actually find out if you are eligable or the T&C of this bonus?

quick · Post by **quick** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:42 pm

oh i wasn't complaining... just stating... lolz

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:42 pm

Don't worry quick its only about 2 days work for you anyway.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:43 pm

Fuck!!!!

You earn over 100K?

Good Lord - but good luck all the same.

@ Hardy.

quick · Post by **quick** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:43 pm

2 shit days...

same o · Post by **same o** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:47 pm

quick wrote:2 shit days...

ur a funny guy

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:56 pm

yeah, and the rest

shabana · Post by **shabana** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:07 pm

quick wrote:earn too much

shit...blows on you then eh?

quick · Post by **quick** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:11 pm

shabana wrote:
quick wrote:earn too much

shit...blows on you then eh?

please