Melbourne Beats

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Tue May 23, 2006 5:26 pm

Only 15 days to go.

Except for the countries on the other side of the date line. They get a bonus day of respite from Armageddon.

Despite my skills, many of which you would be able to see if you checked out Mission Impossible 3, I am merely the Antichrist sent by the Dark Lord to lead thee all astray. As such I am limited in my capacity to lead and corrupt, so the timeline actually works to my advantage.

Rob M · Post by **Rob M** » Tue May 23, 2006 6:48 pm

too bad the time is set by the solar alignments on this day. pwnd.

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:42 pm

Rob M wrote:too bad the time is set by the solar alignments on this day. pwnd.

So is yo' Momma

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Thu May 25, 2006 12:22 pm

Oh fuck

Just found out that I have to be in Sydney for work on the 5th and 6th.

That means I'm FLYING back from Sydney on the 06/06/06

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:04 pm

are we there yet?

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:06 pm

are we there yet?

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:20 pm

13 days to go

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:27 pm

double post. oops.

PahMaLa · Post by **PahMaLa** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:44 pm

Oooo 13 days wooo OooOooo

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Thu May 25, 2006 2:13 pm

13.

That is how much I love myself, on a scale of 1-10.

Numbers sure are swell. I'm so glad we converted from the roman numeric system. One of the great disadvantages was the absence of zero, which made the development of mathematical modeling in n dimensions kinda tricky.

Also, zero is shaped like a donut.

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:32 pm

So is an asshole. Whats your point?

calstro · Post by **calstro** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:32 pm

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

Take the quiz and see what awaits you in hell!!!

I'm 8th Level..... it's gonna be rad.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:41 pm

awwww i only got 7th layer of hell. Whose with me there?

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:56 pm

mrj wrote:So is an asshole. Whats your point?

Funny you should say "What's your point?". That is the name of a seminar that we have given to some of the new demon recruits. They had to sit through a 2 day seminar, but we stretched it out and managed to make it a 3 week compulsory course, with lots of role-playing, patronising speakers and irrelevant, time-wasting films.

I'd say an asshole is more of a star-fish shape. The only time it isn't is when it is streched into an O because it is being pounded by a big, fat cock.

I'm, uh, leaving the computer for a bit.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:59 pm

Mellogs wrote:double post. oops.

haha I thought you did that on purpose

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:03 pm

The Antichrist wrote:
mrj wrote:So is an asshole. Whats your point?
Funny you should say "What's your point?". That is the name of a seminar that we have given to some of the new demon recruits. They had to sit through a 2 day seminar, but we stretched it out and managed to make it a 3 week compulsory course, with lots of role-playing, patronising speakers and irrelevant, time-wasting films.

I'd say an asshole is more of a star-fish shape. The only time it isn't is when it is streched into an O because it is being pounded by a big, fat cock.

I'm, uh, leaving the computer for a bit.

mrj it is getting weird that you are talking to yourself, maybe you are satan

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:13 pm

Lizkins wrote:
The Antichrist wrote:
mrj wrote:So is an asshole. Whats your point?
Funny you should say "What's your point?". That is the name of a seminar that we have given to some of the new demon recruits. They had to sit through a 2 day seminar, but we stretched it out and managed to make it a 3 week compulsory course, with lots of role-playing, patronising speakers and irrelevant, time-wasting films.

I'd say an asshole is more of a star-fish shape. The only time it isn't is when it is streched into an O because it is being pounded by a big, fat cock.

I'm, uh, leaving the computer for a bit.

mrj it is getting weird that you are talking to yourself, maybe you are satan

I am not, have never been, and never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:16 pm

The Antichrist wrote:
Lizkins wrote:
The Antichrist wrote: Funny you should say "What's your point?". That is the name of a seminar that we have given to some of the new demon recruits. They had to sit through a 2 day seminar, but we stretched it out and managed to make it a 3 week compulsory course, with lots of role-playing, patronising speakers and irrelevant, time-wasting films.

I'd say an asshole is more of a star-fish shape. The only time it isn't is when it is streched into an O because it is being pounded by a big, fat cock.

I'm, uh, leaving the computer for a bit.

mrj it is getting weird that you are talking to yourself, maybe you are satan

I am not, have never been, and never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus.

you answered in the wrong alias or whatever

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:22 pm

Lizkins wrote:
The Antichrist wrote:
Lizkins wrote:
mrj it is getting weird that you are talking to yourself, maybe you are satan

I am not, have never been, and never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus.

you answered in the wrong alias or whatever

???
I am not mrj, have never been, never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus. Better???

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:28 pm

The Antichrist wrote:
Lizkins wrote:
The Antichrist wrote:

I am not, have never been, and never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus.

you answered in the wrong alias or whatever
???
I am not mrj, have never been, never will be. I swear on the life of my fresh foetus. Better???

hmmmm very fishy, very fishy indeed!

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:28 pm

Seventh Level of Hell for me. Well I guess that aint so bad.

I wonder if the do fire drills in Hell? That would make the level system suck even more. People on Level 2 wouldn't have that far. But fuck, imagine how far down level 7 is.

The Diameter of the earth is 12,756.3km

So half that is 6378.15 which is the average distance from the crust to the centre of the earth.

Now lets say each level of hell is divided equally into this space, with level 1 starting immediately below the crust of the earths surface. Lets also assume that the borders of each level are infinitley close and the floor of level 9 is at the very centre of the earth.

Based on this the ceiling of level 7 would be at roughly 4.251 kms down and the floor would be at the 4.960 km mark

I reckon in a fire drill you are probably starting at the floor and working your way up.

<runs off with stop watch.................returns to desk>

Okay. So I just timed how long it takes to do two flights of stairs (equivalent of one level) and it was 11.3 seconds and a office building level seems to equate to about 3 metres.

so

Given that I reside in the 7th level of hell, in a fire drill I would have to take the fire exit (obviously) which would require me to climb 3306 flights of stairs which if you assume 10 steps in each flight (which seems about right) 33066 stairs

Hang on...........anyone else here spooked by that number??? add the first two numbers then read it as text- 6066. remove the zero -666 - holy shit

Just went back and check the actual number of stairs

its ........33066.6

Anyway, lets keep going. So given that it takes 11.3 seconds to ascend 3m that means to climb these 33066 stairs its going to take me 311 hours and twenty two minutes to get the surface (assuming constant speed and no stopping)

Then lets say as with normal fire drills theres about 1/2 an hour of running around done by the fire wardens, check that everyone is there etc, maybe spend some time working out that Smith from accounts is sick today.

So lets say then that to return takes the same amount of time (again assuming constant speed, no stopping).

That means 622 hours and 44 minutes of travel time.

Anyone else notice that as well.

add the last to numbers of the hours and minutes, plus the original hour and you get...................666

This is really freaking me out because I actually just did this right now. I DIDNT get the result and try and work backwards. All co-incidental.

Anyways, 622 hours and 44 minutes, plus half an hour at the top and you get 623.06 for a fire drill.

Thats about 26 days. 26 DAYS FOR A FIRE DRILL.

And heres the thing. ITS HELL. ITS ON FIRE ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Thus I believe we can conclude that hell is just constant fire drills, and they suck more the with each successive level of hell.

ghetto kitty · Post by **ghetto kitty** » Thu May 25, 2006 4:36 pm

mrj your fuckin cool.

all this build up...

somehow i cant help but feel like its millenium all over again.

cammo · Post by **cammo** » Fri May 26, 2006 3:51 am

fukn loved dis album

calstro · Post by **calstro** » Fri May 26, 2006 10:31 am

I still get freaking Maiden choons stuck in my head on rotation....

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri May 26, 2006 11:34 am

12 days to go!!!

ShiKung · Post by **ShiKung** » Fri May 26, 2006 11:37 am

Does this means koma and bones arent goin to get to play??

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri May 26, 2006 12:00 pm

probably.... Dopamine wont be playing either

we are kidding ourselves

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Sun May 28, 2006 9:23 pm

mrj wrote:Seventh Level of Hell for me. Well I guess that aint so bad.

I wonder if the do fire drills in Hell? That would make the level system suck even more. People on Level 2 wouldn't have that far. But fuck, imagine how far down level 7 is.

The Diameter of the earth is 12,756.3km

So half that is 6378.15 which is the average distance from the crust to the centre of the earth.

Now lets say each level of hell is divided equally into this space, with level 1 starting immediately below the crust of the earths surface. Lets also assume that the borders of each level are infinitley close and the floor of level 9 is at the very centre of the earth.

Based on this the ceiling of level 7 would be at roughly 4.251 kms down and the floor would be at the 4.960 km mark

I reckon in a fire drill you are probably starting at the floor and working your way up.

<runs off with stop watch.................returns to desk>

Okay. So I just timed how long it takes to do two flights of stairs (equivalent of one level) and it was 11.3 seconds and a office building level seems to equate to about 3 metres.

so

Given that I reside in the 7th level of hell, in a fire drill I would have to take the fire exit (obviously) which would require me to climb 3306 flights of stairs which if you assume 10 steps in each flight (which seems about right) 33066 stairs

Hang on...........anyone else here spooked by that number??? add the first two numbers then read it as text- 6066. remove the zero -666 - holy shit

Just went back and check the actual number of stairs

its ........33066.6

Anyway, lets keep going. So given that it takes 11.3 seconds to ascend 3m that means to climb these 33066 stairs its going to take me 311 hours and twenty two minutes to get the surface (assuming constant speed and no stopping)

Then lets say as with normal fire drills theres about 1/2 an hour of running around done by the fire wardens, check that everyone is there etc, maybe spend some time working out that Smith from accounts is sick today.

So lets say then that to return takes the same amount of time (again assuming constant speed, no stopping).

That means 622 hours and 44 minutes of travel time.

Anyone else notice that as well.

add the last to numbers of the hours and minutes, plus the original hour and you get...................666

This is really freaking me out because I actually just did this right now. I DIDNT get the result and try and work backwards. All co-incidental.

Anyways, 622 hours and 44 minutes, plus half an hour at the top and you get 623.06 for a fire drill.

Thats about 26 days. 26 DAYS FOR A FIRE DRILL.

And heres the thing. ITS HELL. ITS ON FIRE ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Thus I believe we can conclude that hell is just constant fire drills, and they suck more the with each successive level of hell.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Mon May 29, 2006 10:04 am

8 days to go!!!

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Mon May 29, 2006 10:29 am

Ahhh. Another weekend of preparation done and done.

Succubus #433 (Gretel Kileen) is doing a bang-up job at the moment. So pround of her. Livinia Nixon is a problem, though. She needs to pull her finger out. It has been rammed inside Catriona Rowentree for the last three days. I keep on telling Livinia that neither of them can spread the evil while they are fingerbanging one another, but Lavinia claims that her finger is "lost" inside Catriona's gaping bucket. I'd beleive it.

:sigh:

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Mon May 29, 2006 10:30 am

@ gaping bucket... that is soooo wrong

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon May 29, 2006 11:15 am

The Antichrist wrote:Ahhh. Another weekend of preparation done and done.

Succubus #433 (Gretel Kileen) is doing a bang-up job at the moment. So pround of her. Livinia Nixon is a problem, though. She needs to pull her finger out. It has been rammed inside Catriona Rowentree for the last three days. I keep on telling Livinia that neither of them can spread the evil while they are fingerbanging one another, but Lavinia claims that her finger is "lost" inside Catriona's gaping bucket. I'd beleive it.

:sigh:

Hardy or LE. Who else would write such bollocks?

cha_chaos · Post by **cha_chaos** » Mon May 29, 2006 11:54 am

close now!!!

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Tue May 30, 2006 10:38 am

7 days to go!!!

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Tue May 30, 2006 10:53 am

Don't remind me.

I'm supposed to be designing a special layer of Hell for Madelaine West. I was like "just put her in with Georgie Parker and the cast of Home and Away", but Nooooo, the Dark Lord has to have her suffer for all the suffering she has caused with her unbearable, excruciating acting/stand up "comedy". For fuck's sake!!! How the fuck am I supposed to develop something that horrific??

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Tue May 30, 2006 11:46 am

The Antichrist wrote:Don't remind me.

I'm supposed to be designing a special layer of Hell for Madelaine West. I was like "just put her in with Georgie Parker and the cast of Home and Away", but Nooooo, the Dark Lord has to have her suffer for all the suffering she has caused with her unbearable, excruciating acting/stand up "comedy". For fuck's sake!!! How the fuck am I supposed to develop something that horrific??

Hmmmmmm........I'd start with some old Jason Donovan albums and then go from there.

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Tue May 30, 2006 12:03 pm

mrj wrote:
The Antichrist wrote:Don't remind me.

I'm supposed to be designing a special layer of Hell for Madelaine West. I was like "just put her in with Georgie Parker and the cast of Home and Away", but Nooooo, the Dark Lord has to have her suffer for all the suffering she has caused with her unbearable, excruciating acting/stand up "comedy". For fuck's sake!!! How the fuck am I supposed to develop something that horrific??
Hmmmmmm........I'd start with some old Jason Donovan albums and then go from there.

You see, that is where the problem lies. Madeline would probably be excited about wearing that back-to-front white Celine Dion suit while being forced to sit through endless re-runs of "the Nanny". We tried running her over with a bus earlier, but that didn't work either. Perhaps her powers lie in her hair extensions. We will probably start with a good head-shave, perhaps followed by acting classes.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Oh fuck it. I'm running out of time. I'll just use her to torture everyone else.

cammo · Post by **cammo** » Wed May 31, 2006 1:09 am

who's up for the new omen flick on tuesday night. followed by some bloody mary's?

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Wed May 31, 2006 10:23 am

6 DAYS TO GO!!!!!

keenie · Post by **keenie** » Wed May 31, 2006 8:16 pm

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Wed May 31, 2006 9:28 pm

LLAMA LLAMA DUCK, FARKING!

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:21 am

Hmmm. I can assure you that there will be lots of fucking, and lots of fucking up, and things becoming completely fucked, and people going "FUUUUCK"

But the logistics of a llama and a duck fucking...

well... you see my point.

He may be the dark lord, but there are some basic laws that both sides have to adhere to. The cloacca of a duck (or, well, drake in this instance) would, well, probably not even reach to the entrance of the reproductive opening of a llama. And don't even get me started on the height difference.

let's reverse the situation... a duck being fucked by a llama. Well... you would have to guve the duck a stool or something, and then probably wrap it in gaffer tape so it didn't split in half.

I really don't think anyone will have enough time to do this, but I'm sure that a quick google will satisfy you, if that is what you are hoping for, come the end of the world.

Hope I have helped.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:26 am

thanx Tom!!!

5 DAYS TO GO!!!!

Scholtzy · Post by **Scholtzy** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:47 am

Be quiet all you goth bastards!

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:17 am

Scholtzy wrote:Be quiet all you goth bastards!

ya funny buggar Scholtzy

The Antichrist · Post by **The Antichrist** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 9:44 am

A few interesting facts about "Australia's most beautiful lady"...

Mwwahha ha haaaaaaaa

I put a demon in your midst, barely disguised as a woman and these are the results

"She was also a skit performer for several years on 'The Midday Show' and soon after she was a regular "beauty" on 'Beauty and the Beast'.

Of course she also writes scripts for 'Big Brother' shows she hosts and is even involved in the final selection of housemates.

You can read more about this inspiring beauty, the First Lady of Australian TV, on the Gretel Killeen - brief bio page. She is undoubtedly Australia's most beautiful lady for so many reasons. Big Brother Chaos does not refer to her as "Gorgeous Gretel" for nothing. Enjoy your stay here at the Big Brother Chaos Gretel Killeen section and enjoy reading more about this unique and exquisite beauty."

You all deserve to burn for all eternity if this is the way you think.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:08 am

4DAYSTOGO!!!!!!:SHOCK:

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:54 am

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:07 pm

bwahahaha... that's platinum!!

Scholtzy · Post by **Scholtzy** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:20 pm

what a cool site