MB.C AFL/FOOTY TIPPING THREAD

almax · Post by **almax** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:45 am

Nate Robinson from New York Knicks

http://www.nba.com/video/channels/allst ... index.html

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:49 am

almax wrote:Nate Robinson from New York Knicks

http://www.nba.com/video/channels/allst ... index.html

Badman, he's won it before too. His dubnk was actually pretty crap, he only won because he's a shortarse. Fernandez should have won this year imo.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:21 pm

Go the Tigers... Go big Richo!

Lucky to get up last night, but the big fella sealed the deal... again.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:33 pm

Direkt wrote:Go the Tigers... Go big Richo!

Lucky to get up last night, but the big fella sealed the deal... again.

Yes! It's so nice to actually be looking forward to the AFL season for once!

almax · Post by **almax** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:35 pm

Did cuz play? if so how did he go?

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:50 pm

No Cus this week = potential for round two of NAB.

needs a little more conditioning the media has said.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:10 pm

Indeed.

The whole "Cousins hasn't done much prior to Christmas" is the only thing holding him back at the stage. He's a possible against Collingwood next round, but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't play.

Hardy: damn straight mate.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:35 pm

Round 1

Carlton Vs Richmond

Juddalenko Vs The Ice Man

I'm flying in for this one.

Go Blues!

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:52 am

We need to get tix homestead heath.

Guaranteed sell out.

And... Rich v Carl, Cousins v Judd may happen in the pre-season comp first....

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:55 am

Boom town - yes we do.

Let's get bizzle on the nizzle and purchizzle some tizizzles!

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:07 am

iiight

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:29 pm

Cousins, Vickery and Rance all tipped to make their debut for the mighty Tigers this Thu night against Collingwood @ Telstra Dome.

Awesome.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:35 pm

Hawthorn almost lost against Melbs on the weekend

fricken what the?

but some of our players weren't playing so that could have been it. man i jumped around the loungeroom when Roughey kicked the final goal

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:39 pm

Hawthorn will pale in comparison to last year Liz.....

Granted it is pre season cup, but a near loss against Melbourne is not a good sign for the Porks. oops - sorry, Hawks.

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:41 pm

Lizkins wrote:but some of our players weren't playing so that could have been it. man i jumped around the loungeroom when Roughey kicked the final goal

9 players were missing, but who's counting?

Bring on the Home and Away, I say. Pre-season has never held much for me.

Did you get yer free poster, Liz? Already up in my office.

Feigs, case of beer says we finish higher than the Blues.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:43 pm

^^ It's on - you Ringwood types drink Tooheys Blue don't you?

almax · Post by **almax** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:45 pm

10 (according to the herald sun)of our premiership players were out of that game plus 2 more were injured during the game (rolled ankle and corked thigh) so i think we will do just fine this season.
Clarkson is a smart coach, he is just blooding the youngsters.
Also with the retirement of Crawford, Hawthorn is now the youngest team on average age in the AFL, the first time ever that the reigning premier has that title, so there is plenty of improving to do for the Hawks.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:45 pm

obliveus wrote:
Lizkins wrote:but some of our players weren't playing so that could have been it. man i jumped around the loungeroom when Roughey kicked the final goal
9 players were missing, but who's counting?

Bring on the Home and Away, I say. Pre-season has never held much for me.

Did you get yer free poster, Liz? Already up in my office.

Feigs, case of beer says we finish higher than the Blues.

yeah i never pay much attention to pre-season much. i don't reckon half the clubs care much either.

you mean the premiership one? cos that is next to my desk. In all its Glory!!!! and Brilliance!!!! and Awesomeness!!!!!!

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:47 pm

Feigan wrote:^^ It's on - you Ringwood types drink Tooheys Blue don't you?

Nah, it's all about non-alcoholic round these parts. Water, really. Much better for the waistline. I mean, I gotta fit into spandex from time to time, still.

Thanks for coming in, Al. Gets a bit Bluey and Tigery round these parts sometimes.

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:49 pm

Lizkins wrote:
obliveus wrote:
Lizkins wrote:but some of our players weren't playing so that could have been it. man i jumped around the loungeroom when Roughey kicked the final goal
9 players were missing, but who's counting?

Bring on the Home and Away, I say. Pre-season has never held much for me.

Did you get yer free poster, Liz? Already up in my office.

Feigs, case of beer says we finish higher than the Blues.

yeah i never pay much attention to pre-season much. i don't reckon half the clubs care much either.

you mean the premiership one? cos that is next to my desk. In all its Glory!!!! and Brilliance!!!! and Awesomeness!!!!!!

Nah, the new 2009 team poster was in the Herald Sun on Saturday. I got the Premiership one next to my desk, too. Plus, the Hawks Premeirship illustration by Weg and the Crawford legend full page. I'm a dork, I know this.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:52 pm

Hawthorn Dawks?

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:53 pm

Crawf should have stayed on IMHO.

if they go back to back - how much is he going to be kicking himself!

slab of water it is then OB.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:55 pm

C'arn Feigs... as a mate, I must advise you, even though it's water - that's not the smartest bet you've ever made.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:00 pm

Noted Spies Dawg

Fev will play a stronger season than Buddy will this year - stronger mid field to deliver the footy.

I'm really interested to see if the hawks can continue through on the same level as last year. I don't think they have it in them.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:13 pm

It certainly will be interesting.

So many teams improving, it's hard to predict who's going to get worse to make way for the emerging teams...

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:22 pm

I was joking on the slab of water Feigs. Call it a 12-pack of JD & Cola UDL's for me (more expensive than beer).

Buddy may not have as good a season, but it's not like Fathead hasn't proved he can kick a goal, too. Who do you defend against? Plus, Mark Williams. Or Cyril. Without a doubt, a potent forward line the Blues lack.

Just calling a spade a spade. You guys got a great midfield though.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:31 pm

Done - lock it in OB.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:37 pm

Meh... Carlton's midfield... it's okay. It will be really good in a couple of years when Murphy and Gibbs come on, but at the moment you've got Judd and fat fuck Stevens. Not even a notable ruck until Kreuzer comes of age.

I'm joking about Stevens, he's a good player.

Geelong - that's a midfield. Those guys have got Ablett and Bartell running through the guts, throw in Selwood and Ling - and Brad Ottens in ruck... not too bad at all.

Hawthorn - another killer midfield IMO.

Even Richmond has a better midfield than Carlton when we're all up and about. Cousins, Coughlan, Daledio, Foley, Cotchin, Tuck and Johnson with Simmonds in the ruck.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:48 pm

^ I think the operative word there Spiesy is 'when' and the other word I will add in is 'If'

FFS - Fat Fuck Stevens - hahahaha

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:58 pm

What I meant by that is, when Cotchin & Coughlan overcome their injury. Smartass.

Post by **lynt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:15 pm

I met the team members of the New York Magpies the other week at the American Australian Bushfire Appeal. Smiles & Gazza, top blokes. Spreading the good word of AFL throughout the USA.

Here's Ben Graham

And Geoffrey Rush

http://nyfooty.com/

Cop some Yankee styles.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:20 pm

Sweet as Lyntos... shall check.

Post by **lynt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:27 pm

Apparently there are like 32 footy teams in the US, and a women's league! Insane. Not here long enough to see a match though.

almax · Post by **almax** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:35 pm

lynt wrote:Apparently there are like 32 footy teams in the US, and a women's league! Insane. Not here long enough to see a match though.

32 teams or leagues? wonder what shape of ground they play on

Post by **lynt** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:37 pm

Teams, they play on AFL style grounds.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:47 pm

They play on ice hockey arena's Al.....

almax · Post by **almax** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:55 pm

what im saying is, in the US the councils would only really provide square fields for soccer and NFL and also baseball pitches, so i bet the fields they play on are compromised severely, its not like they would have cricket fields in every town over there like we do here.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:04 pm

I hear you buddy - they don't have anything similar, would assume it's modified pitch of sorts.

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 6:46 pm

A couple of my mates who came out here to visit us, and who I took to see the footy, both email me when they've seen AFL on at some random late night hour. It's like...

"Bro, I saw Aussie Rules on ESPN 7 last night after a huge bender. Fuck, it's still hard to follow...especially without you explaining it. Who's this Carlton team, they suck ass."

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 10:45 pm

Ob1 - dammit i missed out

lol you would take on one of the Partners at my law firm, his whole office is covered in Hawks stuff, its brilliant

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:32 am

obliveus wrote:A couple of my mates who came out here to visit us, and who I took to see the footy, both email me when they've seen AFL on at some random late night hour. It's like...

"Bro, I saw Aussie Rules on ESPN 7 last night after a huge bender. Fuck, it's still hard to follow...especially without you explaining it. Who's this Carlton team, they suck ass."

That just proves that American's don't know shit

almax · Post by **almax** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:52 am

Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road?
Centrelink was on the other side

What's the difference between the Collingwood and an arsonist?
An arsonist wouldn't waste 25 matches.

How do you inflict 12 months of acute pain on a Pies supporter?
Buy them a membership for Christmas!

What do u say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?
I’ll have fries with that thanks

2 Collingwood Supporters in a car without any music, who is driving?
The Policeman

What do you call a 30 yr old woman in a Collingwood jumper?
Nanna

You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the Collingwood fan – Twice

You know you're a Collingwood supporter when:
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people..'
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: 'Carn the Maggies .'
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.
11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk.
16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.

What do Collingwood supporters use as protection during sex?
The bus shelter

If you're driving along and you see a Collingwood supporter riding a bike why shouldn't you run him over?
It could be your bike..

Two kids were having a kick in the car park outside the MCG just before a big Carlton and Essendon match. As they were playing a dog came running across and attacked one the of the little kids. The dog was on top of the kids scratching and biting him so his mate who he was having a kick with pick up a stick and started to bash the dog with. Well in the end he belted the dog so hard he actually killed.
A news reporter witnessed this event and came rushing over for an interview. She said to the boy " that was great you just saved your best mates life, this could make a great story."
So the lady started think of headline....
"Carlton Supporter saves best mate from savage dog attack". No said the boy I am not a Carlton supporter.
"Essendon supporter saves best mate from savage dog attack". No said the boy I am not an Essendon supporter either. So the lady asked who he barracked for and he said Collingwood.
The next days headlines where " Low Life Mongrel Maims Family Dog"

Three women with footy-fan husbands are discussing their relationships.
The first says, “My husband follows the Lions and let me tell you our sex life is like one premiership after another.”
The second says, “My husband is a Crows man and every night is like the back-to-back victories of 1997 and '98.”
They then look at their friend, who hasn't yet said a thing.
“What’s wrong,“ they say as their friend starts sobbing. “Well,” she says hesitantly, “my husband supports Collingwood, and all he does is sit on the end of the bed and tell me how wonderful it's going to be.”

Why do Collingwood fans stink?
So blind people can hate them, too.

What's got 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The front row of the Collingwood cheer squad.

What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a Collingwood shirt to bed?
You ain't going to score.

A Collingwood couple gets married and are on their honeymoon.
The woman changes into a sexy outfit and lies on the bed. She looks sheepishly up at her new hubby and whispers, “Please be gentle with me. I'm a virgin.”
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his father, who comforts him by saying, “Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours.”

A Collingwood supporter went down to Centrelink to claim welfare after realising she was the only one of her friends - (who were all Collingwood supporters) - who was not on benefits.
“How many children do you have?” the man at Centrelink asked.
“Ten,” she replied.
“What are their names?”
“Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn and Jaidyn,” she replied.
“They're all named Jaidyn?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”
“Oh, that's easy,” she said. “I just call 'Jaidyn,' and they all come running in.”
“And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”
“I just say, 'Jaidyn, come eat your dinner',” she answered.
“But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?” he asked.
“Oh, that's easy,” she said. “I just use their last name.”

How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make
excuses and Mick Malthouse to say that if the umpire had done
his job in the first place the light bulb would never have
gone out

A truck driver is driving down the highway when he sees a priest hitch-hiking. He stops to pick up the priest, but he has a few misgivings about giving him a ride as usually when the driver sees a Collingwood supporter on the road he runs them over. But with a priest in the truck, he wouldn't be able to carry out his favorite pastime.
But being a good bloke, the truck driver decides to pick up the priest and forgo his fun for this one trip.
Just after the priest jumps into the cab they come across a Collingwood supporter hitchhiking.
The diver decides to swerve to avoid the Collingwood supporter but hears a huge “BOOM!”
The driver looks over at the priest, who says, “Don't worry - I got him with the door

What’s the difference between a cactus and the Lexus Centre?
A cactus has pricks on the outside

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, “What's your IQ?”
The man replies, “150”, and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming, factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.
The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.”, and decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.
Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What's your IQ?”
“About a 100,” the man responds.
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about football, the Bathurst 1000, cricket, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and the like.
Really impressed, the man leaves then walks in again.
“What's your IQ?” the robot asks.
“Er, 50, I think.”
And the robot responds, very, very slowly, “So, I expect you'll be following Collingwood again this year?”

What do you do for a drowning Collingwood player?
Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.

Why did Cinderella run away from the ball?
Because she played for Collingwood.

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children
What their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc..
However, Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father ..
Billy responded: “My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes
off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is
really good, he’ll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let
them sleep with him.”
The teacher quickly sent the other children outside with some work and
took little Billy aside to ask him if what he’d said was really true.
“No” said Billy ,”He plays AFL football for the Collingwood Football
Club but I was just too embarrassed to say ...”

Joffa took his 8 year old son to a Pies Game. At half time, an opposition supporter called one of the Pies cheersquad a transvestite, prompting Joffa's son to ask him 'dad, what’s a transvestite?', to which Joffa replied, 'Go ask your mum, he'll know'.

What do you call a group of Collingwood supporters running off in the same direction?
Jailbreak!

What is the difference between a Pizza and a Collingwood supporter?
Pizza can feed a family of four.

A group of Collingwood supporters are standing on their tip toes up to their necks in water What is the problem?
Not enough water.

How do you know if your house has been robbed by a Collingwood supporter?
Your bins are empty and your dogs pregnant.

What do you call a Collingwood supporter with half a brain?
Gifted.

A Collingwood Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says
"I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."

Another Collingwood girl was involved in a serious crash, there's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the road.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

A Collingwood girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:14 am

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:25 am

Woo-hoo!

Got my tickets to see Benny Cousins debut for the Tigers tonight... alongside our prized draft pick Tyrone Vickery... can't wait!

They're expecting a massive crowd for a preseason game.

Cun Ties!

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:05 am

enjoy Spiesy - he'll unleash tonight

40+ posessions is my pick

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:08 am

Apparently he's only going to play 60% of the game.

I'd reckon he'll also have a pretty heavy tag, not to mention big expectations... I just hope he gets through unscathed with a few valuable contributions.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:18 am

I hope he drops the bloke he lines up on, then runs the length of the ground (11 bounces), kicks a super goal, then rips his top off, points at his 'such is life' tattoo, does the Haka and then makes an injecting action into his arm before then making a noose action and falling over.

That would be re entrance of the year

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:21 am

Gold mate.

I guarantee there will be Pies supporters dangling fake bags of cocaine over the fences.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:24 am

100% have to be.

except instead of calling it Charlie, I bet you they'll call it Eddie.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:25 am

Indeed.

And instead of using icing sugar, they'll use heroin... there's prob more H than sugar to be found in lovely suburb of Collingwood.