The bloke thread

saggynipple · Post by **saggynipple** » Sun Dec 20, 2009 5:41 pm

This thread is too funny, looks like you all failed at keeping the girlywirlys out tho!

Some guy at work was moaning the other day about his wife... apparently she pulled the old "you never tell me I look nice", to which he replied "when do you ever tell me I look nice?". Simple yet effective, one for the arsenal

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:35 pm

The suicide girls roll a spliff

http://punchbaby.com/2010/02/832/

NSFW

Amick · Post by **Amick** » Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:07 pm

^^^
that is one boring video.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:14 pm

http://i.americanapparel.net/storefront ... /index.asp

Nuff said.

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:30 pm

Feigan wrote:http://i.americanapparel.net/storefront ... /index.asp

Nuff said.

zomg.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:42 am

Well played Sir, well played.

bonsai · Post by **bonsai** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:50 am

MMMMM... Maria.

nic · Post by **nic** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:28 am

number 5

donk

donk ass

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 4:12 pm

NSFW

Katy Perry, real or photoshopped, that is the question

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4ws6 ... o1_500.jpg

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 4:18 pm

Hmmmmm - she is lying on a dolphin bedspread, I don't think she is into dolphins or any type of mammal.

I believe it is a fake.

De mammary glands I would assume would be firmer for a 23 year old - thoughts?

there was another case last year of similar nature on the interpervet.

!!NSFW!!

http://www.victorsrmoore.2itb.com/photo6_63.html

It's not her.

NSFW

this is my favorite though - this is allegedly her.

http://files.list.co.uk/images/2009/06/ ... witter.jpg

I used to hate her.

Now i find her somewhat intriguing.

Fents · Post by **Fents** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 4:52 pm

fake! at least i want it to be...

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:14 pm

almax wrote:NSFW

Katy Perry, real or photoshopped, that is the question

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4ws6 ... o1_500.jpg

Who's ever they are... they are great cans.

Amick · Post by **Amick** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:20 pm

obvious chop chop but indeed nice chesticles.

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:21 pm

Great racks NSFW

http://i40.tinypic.com/kvw2a.gif

Totally NSFW

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/1151/55078481.jpg

Charlie73 · Post by **Charlie73** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:21 pm

almax wrote:NSFW

Katy Perry, real or photoshopped, that is the question

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4ws6 ... o1_500.jpg

no way they are her's

LOL

you just have to look at ANY picture of her to know she has about half that!

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:27 pm

DBoy wrote:Great racks NSFW

http://i40.tinypic.com/kvw2a.gif

Totally NSFW

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/1151/55078481.jpg

Bless.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:34 pm

NSFW

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media ... Stroke.gif

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1236337806_ArisaOda.gif

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:48 pm

DBoy wrote:Great racks NSFW

http://i40.tinypic.com/kvw2a.gif

Jah bless.

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:59 pm

Blokes have died for less, many have ruined lives for the same.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:22 pm

Indeed.

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:10 pm

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:39 pm

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:01 am

I have no idea what that means, but I understand the importance of it nonetheless.

Amick · Post by **Amick** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:39 pm

cosplay - dressing up like japanese cartoon characters.

aroes · Post by **aroes** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:06 pm

otaku = fetishist

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:54 pm

kronz = both

Post by **huge** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:43 pm

vikki blows eh ollie.

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:02 pm

vikki blows alright.

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:35 pm

Eva Green. thinking mans strumpet.

Charlie73 · Post by **Charlie73** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:52 pm

yeah i'd tap it...

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 1:23 pm

she has the most beautiful accent as well lol

Charlie73 · Post by **Charlie73** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:21 pm

oh really? English or?

elysium · Post by **elysium** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:06 am

She is hot but she looks like she has had a rough night / is a bit cross about sommat? Maybe both. Like she has up all night with teh stomach cramps from the renegade chicken curry she et, or her bogan neighbours has kept her up with a noisy party.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:06 am

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:35 pm

Charlie73 wrote:oh really? English or?

yep.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:43 pm

Completely and utterly NSFW.

amazing site.

again - NSFW

http://ffffound.com/image/3a1575f3041df ... 030483ffd7

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:44 pm

for any haters - It is classified as art.

I only visit for the articles anyway.

Amick · Post by **Amick** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:53 pm

http://www.thingsiwoulddotobangscarlettjohansson.com/

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:27 pm

Feigan wrote:Completely and utterly NSFW.

amazing site.

again - NSFW

http://ffffound.com/image/3a1575f3041df ... 030483ffd7

very nice

I particularly liked this pic... http://ffffound.com/image/10831ff480fb6 ... c304d19c24

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:10 am

deviant wrote:
Feigan wrote:Completely and utterly NSFW.

amazing site.

again - NSFW

http://ffffound.com/image/3a1575f3041df ... 030483ffd7
very nice

I particularly liked this pic... http://ffffound.com/image/10831ff480fb6 ... c304d19c24

and this....

http://ffffound.com/image/61cae29376512 ... 561b5373c9

this is the favorite

http://ffffound.com/image/26252c1547253 ... 9f24129318

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:40 am

Feigan wrote:this is the favorite

http://ffffound.com/image/26252c1547253 ... 9f24129318

Very nice, although she could do with a feed...

That first pic with the brunette... lordy.

nic · Post by **nic** » Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:55 am

zomg bare fitty

nic · Post by **nic** » Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:56 am

all like bow wow up in here
boing oing

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:35 pm

From one of my favorite sites:
http://maddox.xmission.com/

Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do,
and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.

Someone recently sent me an email titled 26 things a perfect guy would do. I thought "hmm, nobody could possibly send me anything so stupid, it can't possibly be as dumb as it sounds." I stand corrected. The email was just as advertised: a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act, as if men in this country weren't already an episode of Friends away from turning into giant walking vaginas.

I never thought I'd ever read anything that would induce my gag reflex so quickly, and this is after having read the details of an anal prolapse that a friend sent me tonight. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do:"

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, bitch.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
What? Why the hell would I want to smell a woman's hair? It smells bad enough with all the sprays and perfume they use. Enough with the conditioners, sprays, and cream already; that shit makes my eyes water. What the hell is conditioner anyway?

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
Translation: bail you out when you fail at life, but never bring it up during conversations.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.
This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch "the game." Since I'd rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch "the game," I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
LAME. Who has time for this? Sounds like something out of a herpes commercial where some lady is rock climbing or doing something else which symbolizes her independence, then out of nowhere she blurts out "I HAVE HERPES." The music gets all serious and you hear a voice over "...there is no cure," cue inspirational music "but treatment is available." Then it cuts to a shot of the bitch on a beach and a guy runs up behind her and puts his arms around her. Good job dumbass, you're dating a skank with herpes.

6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? Women never play with the hair on my back, why the double standard?

7. His hands always find yours.
This is one of those things women read and say "AWW HOW ROMANTIC." I have news for you: holding hands is stupid. Women don't know the first thing about being romantic. Only lesbians hold hands anyway; allow me to explain. The only time it's acceptable to hold hands with anyone is if you're at a peace vigil. Guys don't go to peace vigils, period. If you do, you have to surrender your balls and get a sex transplant because you're a bitch; in either case, you're a woman, and when two women hold hands it can only lead to one thing as far as I'm concerned.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Bullshit. When I want something, I yell. If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.
For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.

12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.

13. Stare at you.
You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the bitch a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.

14. Call for no reason.
Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bullshit like fashion trends."

I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven.

1,575,876 People have sent me chain mail and have subsequently received beatings.

[email protected]

Back to how much I rule...