33&1/3 Good Friday - 14th April - line up announced!!

Post by **breaksRbest** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 8:47 pm

keenie wrote: dear brb,
i am just writing to enquire about the 100% booth package. can you guarantee i will be sat next to a beautiful person?

Beautiful people are 100% Garaunteed if you take out the 100% Booth package. Below is a photo from our Prospectus, which system should've already given you a copy of

which shows the calibre of punter who chooseour Booth Package.

Mal Function has advised us to add a 'random' clause into the contract (well, it is The Espy). This means that the ratio of beautiful people, at any given point, may vary due to unforseen random 'uglies' trying to 'squat' on your prized, and paid for, time-share allotment.

keenie wrote: and also since it will be necessary to stay put all night does the package include a supplement of those lazy-feel type pingers and perhaps a bottle/vessel to pee in? or would they be extra?

The Standards Department does not publicly endorse the use of 'pingers'. Sorry, but it's just Standard practice.
A 4 litre plastic container will be provided to all occupants and a funnel will be made available on request. A cone shaped 'Shee-Wee' will be provided for all Female occupants.

MilkyBar · Post by **MilkyBar** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 8:53 pm

MilkyBar wrote:
MilkyBar wrote:got 3 tickets for sale... bought a tad too many
e-mail [email protected] if you're looking for some.

xx
oh, they are the presale tickets... that are $35

Ok, i don't have 3 for sale, I have 4 for sale...
I don't want to break them up into lots of 1 or 2, - just 4 at one go.

It's $42 a pop (I had to pay booking fee + postage) - can pick up in the city (bourke and spencer cnr) And/or at the venue itself and/or i could express post it to you asap if i can get it out by tomorrow or thursday.

Text me on 0433291796... or email.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:05 pm

Gold Glenny, Standards Manual in full effect.

For an extra fee you may also purchase a time share arrangement in Front & Centre, but only if you agree to the 100% Booth Package. Whilst every endeavour is made to ensure that Front & Centre is a truly memorable experience, we are unable to offer Munters Indemnity Insurance as they are invariably drawn to the bright lights, panoramic view and pristine sound. Our parent company, Standard Funding is however prepared to offer you a very reasonable package should any unexpected issues arise.

Because here at the Standards Department we sincerely hope that you have a:

keenie · Post by **keenie** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:07 pm

dear brb,
re:100% booth purchase

ill take one booth seat please
go easy on the random uglies.
actually ill pay extra for you or a member of your department to ensure that my eyes are pleased all night

Post by **system** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:43 pm

champagne comedy, people!

autumnleaves · Post by **autumnleaves** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:37 pm

Hey all-

I've got two earlybird tickets to 33 1/3 spare- price is $40.

Cheers!

EDIT: both tickets are sold

lilstormer · Post by **lilstormer** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:46 pm

you funny fuckers...

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:50 am

2 sleeps!!!!!

stovequeen · Post by **stovequeen** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:51 am

Direktor wrote:2 sleeps!!!!!

Yo, you want to swing by my place on the way home? Long story but i got yours and OB's passes..

Guyno · Post by **Guyno** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:12 am

breaksRbest wrote:
keenie wrote: dear brb,
i am just writing to enquire about the 100% booth package. can you guarantee i will be sat next to a beautiful person?
Beautiful people are 100% Garaunteed if you take out the 100% Booth package. Below is a photo from our Prospectus, which system should've already given you a copy of which shows the calibre of punter who chooseour Booth Package.

Mal Function has advised us to add a 'random' clause into the contract (well, it is The Espy). This means that the ratio of beautiful people, at any given point, may vary due to unforseen random 'uglies' trying to 'squat' on your prized, and paid for, time-share allotment.

keenie wrote: and also since it will be necessary to stay put all night does the package include a supplement of those lazy-feel type pingers and perhaps a bottle/vessel to pee in? or would they be extra?
The Standards Department does not publicly endorse the use of 'pingers'. Sorry, but it's just Standard practice.
A 4 litre plastic container will be provided to all occupants and a funnel will be made available on request. A cone shaped 'Shee-Wee' will be provided for all Female occupants.

To whom it may concern. As a high ranking V.I to the mutha fuckin' P member of the forementioned booth crew I wish to have my package reviewed and perhaps upgraded to the Platinum booth package. Upgrades include:a) all intoxicants are delivered to my booth by Ashley Judd in a bunny suit. b) I'm wheeled to 'front n centre' location upon request and c) when it is my time to play a scantily clad [insert Ashley Judd] removes my cape exactly 3 seconds prior to what is bound to be the performance of the day.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:17 am

Guyno wrote:
breaksRbest wrote:
keenie wrote: dear brb,
i am just writing to enquire about the 100% booth package. can you guarantee i will be sat next to a beautiful person?
Beautiful people are 100% Garaunteed if you take out the 100% Booth package. Below is a photo from our Prospectus, which system should've already given you a copy of which shows the calibre of punter who chooseour Booth Package.

Mal Function has advised us to add a 'random' clause into the contract (well, it is The Espy). This means that the ratio of beautiful people, at any given point, may vary due to unforseen random 'uglies' trying to 'squat' on your prized, and paid for, time-share allotment.

keenie wrote: and also since it will be necessary to stay put all night does the package include a supplement of those lazy-feel type pingers and perhaps a bottle/vessel to pee in? or would they be extra?
The Standards Department does not publicly endorse the use of 'pingers'. Sorry, but it's just Standard practice.
A 4 litre plastic container will be provided to all occupants and a funnel will be made available on request. A cone shaped 'Shee-Wee' will be provided for all Female occupants.

To whom it may concern. As a high ranking V.I to the mutha fuckin' P member of the forementioned booth crew I wish to have my package reviewed and perhaps upgraded to the Platinum booth package. Upgrades include:a) all intoxicants are delivered to my booth by Ashley Judd in a bunny suit. b) I'm wheeled to 'front n centre' location upon request and c) when it is my time to play a scantily clad [insert Ashley Judd] removes my cape exactly 3 seconds prior to what is bound to be the performance of the day.

For a small fee increase we can also arrange for Ashley Judd to exclusively handle your package for the duration of said event. You will however need to review the "Grey Boy Clause" in the contract with regard to package handling and consumption of intoxicants.

Guyno · Post by **Guyno** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:30 am

great_magnet wrote:
Guyno wrote:
breaksRbest wrote: Beautiful people are 100% Garaunteed if you take out the 100% Booth package. Below is a photo from our Prospectus, which system should've already given you a copy of which shows the calibre of punter who chooseour Booth Package.

Mal Function has advised us to add a 'random' clause into the contract (well, it is The Espy). This means that the ratio of beautiful people, at any given point, may vary due to unforseen random 'uglies' trying to 'squat' on your prized, and paid for, time-share allotment.
The Standards Department does not publicly endorse the use of 'pingers'. Sorry, but it's just Standard practice.
A 4 litre plastic container will be provided to all occupants and a funnel will be made available on request. A cone shaped 'Shee-Wee' will be provided for all Female occupants.

To whom it may concern. As a high ranking V.I to the mutha fuckin' P member of the forementioned booth crew I wish to have my package reviewed and perhaps upgraded to the Platinum booth package. Upgrades include:a) all intoxicants are delivered to my booth by Ashley Judd in a bunny suit. b) I'm wheeled to 'front n centre' location upon request and c) when it is my time to play a scantily clad [insert Ashley Judd] removes my cape exactly 3 seconds prior to what is bound to be the performance of the day.
For a small fee increase we can also arrange for Ashley Judd to exclusively handle your package for the duration of said event. You will however need to review the "Grey Boy Clause" in the contract with regard to package handling and consumption of intoxicants.

An upgrade to the "Judd" package will ensure the 'Grey Boy' clause will not need to be invoked.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:33 am

I get the vibe that your package will rapidly upgrade on confirmation of the Judd package being purchased... Just be careful not to bump the decks with said upgrade when mixing!

Guyno · Post by **Guyno** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:36 am

great_magnet wrote:I get the vibe that your package will rapidly upgrade on confirmation of the Judd package being purchased... Just be careful not to bump the decks with said upgrade when mixing!

I plan to utilise my upgrade as part of the forementioned performance. "Check out the dude with Judd upgrade mixing with no hands!"

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:37 am

stovequeen · Post by **stovequeen** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:38 am

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:39 am

Guyno wrote:
great_magnet wrote:I get the vibe that your package will rapidly upgrade on confirmation of the Judd package being purchased... Just be careful not to bump the decks with said upgrade when mixing!
I plan to utilise my upgrade as part of the forementioned performance. "Check out the dude with Judd upgrade mixing with no hands!"

No wait...

quiet roar · Post by **quiet roar** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:53 am

witty_pseudonym wrote:

Don't worry witty', there will be others

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:16 pm

great_magnet wrote:
Guyno wrote:
great_magnet wrote:I get the vibe that your package will rapidly upgrade on confirmation of the Judd package being purchased... Just be careful not to bump the decks with said upgrade when mixing!
I plan to utilise my upgrade as part of the forementioned performance. "Check out the dude with Judd upgrade mixing with no hands!"

No wait...

G_M sans break on the gaffaw action.

complementary to all purchasers of gold Booth packages and above! get in now to avoid the last minute rush!

cha_chaos · Post by **cha_chaos** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:46 pm

hey, I have 1 ticket for sale for this... if anyone is interested it would be great if you could pm me

EDIT: is very much gone

its almost here

Post by **lynt** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:36 pm

There's so much good music out at the moment, loaded for Easter now!

RAD!

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:41 pm

Further applications are still be accepted for Booth Packages, please contact BRB in the Standards Department for further information.

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:45 pm

(brochures, testimonials and incriminating photos will be available from the toll-free number.)

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:48 pm

MANY incriminating photos

MilkyBar · Post by **MilkyBar** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:58 pm

4 tickets still for sale = 40 each if you buy all four! call 0433291796 or email me.

xx

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:58 pm

selective removal of any incriminating photo is all part of the PLATINUM Booth™ package. (all negatives and originals to be retained by the management.)

book your seats now!

keenie · Post by **keenie** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:38 pm

system wrote:selective removal of any incriminating photo is all part of the PLATINUM Booth™ package. (all negatives and originals to be retained by the management.)

book your seats now!

if it happens in the booth i believe it doesnt count as incriminating anyway.
check the standards departments policy on boothamatic immunity.

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:53 pm

keenie wrote:
system wrote:selective removal of any incriminating photo is all part of the PLATINUM Booth™ package. (all negatives and originals to be retained by the management.)

book your seats now!
if it happens in the booth i believe it doesnt count as incriminating anyway.
check the standards departments policy on boothamatic immunity.

it all comes down to the package you invest in. MAKE IT STANDARD.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:01 pm

To quote a famous sporting tour analogy:

"What goes on in the booth stays in the booth"

Unless of course your image is captured by non-booth members and published by other more commercial dance music forums, in which case we offer nothing more than the aforementioned steak knives. This is of course pending clearance by our legal advisor, Mal Function.

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:08 pm

note to team: I believe Andy Cid needs to make a contribution as well, along with Pete Scattered.

TheOperatives · Post by **TheOperatives** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:10 pm

Fents wrote:
ac23 wrote:YES YES YES, im so excited for this.

6.00 - 7.00pm Lex
7.00 - 9.00pm LONDON ELEKTRICITY
9.00 - 10.00pm Rux
10.00- 11.00am Sean
11.00 - 1.00am ZINC

BAD fucking NESS
what u really meant was

11.00 - 1.00am ZINC
1.00 - 2.00am JPS
2.00 - 3.00am Fenton

wasnt it?

exactly fents.... heheheh

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:12 pm

They were both cc'd on the original memo, unfortunately Andy was last seen discussing string theory in the chimpanzee enclosure at Taronga Park Zoo, whilst Pete is only currently able to converse in an obscure 16th century Estonian regional dialect and we are yet to find an appropriate translator.

They need to make it standard fairly soon if their going to make their sales quotas....

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:15 pm

I thought that they were on the board of directors!

at least, they always seemed to be bored directly after turning up once a month.

elysium · Post by **elysium** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:16 pm

from a Standards Department internal memo:

Remember this useful tip: certain Booth activities are automatically protected by the rule of evidence which makes foreplay inadmissible in court.

or was that hearsay?

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:18 pm

I think it's actually hearplay Ely...

The Board of Directors are not the most reliable bunch Sys, they tend to sample some of suppliers wares a little too regularly...

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:20 pm

note to counsel: 'The Booth' (Pty Ltd) is a trading entity unto itself, thereby excluded from the laws and regulations of Australia. [insert rider A]

* rider A: if questioned regarding this by officers of the law (AKA, the coppers), drop everything and run like buggery.

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:23 pm

great_magnet wrote:I think it's actually hearplay Ely...

I thought it was 'here! here!'. you know, like when the *cough* delivery people *cough* turn up.

great_magnet wrote:The Board of Directors are not the most reliable bunch Sys, they tend to sample some of suppliers wares a little too regularly...

they do tend to want to 'negotiate' a lot!

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:23 pm

That's not the first time I've seen the words "buggery" and "cops" in the same sentence...

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:26 pm

or the same photo.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:28 pm

Which is precisely why we have a rigourous Booth Screening Policy.

Post by **system** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:31 pm

(rights to the photos of the 'screening' process remain the property of The Management.)

nhd · Post by **nhd** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:01 pm

ooh yeah im up for this now

i promise i wont be a social pest to anyone this time

Post by **lynt** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:19 pm

mmmm socialpest.

nhd · Post by **nhd** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:21 pm

sponsor me

keenie · Post by **keenie** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:08 pm

great_magnet wrote:I think it's actually hearplay Ely...

The Board of Directors are not the most reliable bunch Sys, they tend to sample some of suppliers wares a little too regularly...

when in the booth: foreplay+hearplay=heresy
immunity applies
however Mal and other members of the department cannot be there 100% of the time to ensure guarantees of discretion are met, so everybody should familiarise themselves with the product disclosure statement before friday.
you dont want your only defence later on to be STFU.

Guyno · Post by **Guyno** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:54 am

keenie wrote:
great_magnet wrote:I think it's actually hearplay Ely...

The Board of Directors are not the most reliable bunch Sys, they tend to sample some of suppliers wares a little too regularly...
when in the booth: foreplay+hearplay=heresy
immunity applies
however Mal and other members of the department cannot be there 100% of the time to ensure guarantees of discretion are met, so everybody should familiarise themselves with the product disclosure statement before friday.
you dont want your only defence later on to be STFU.

Can I please submit a new application for the PLATINUM PLUS package known around the Standards office as the PLATINUM STANDOVER package complete with large goons with the means to S(anybody)TFU.

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:56 am

Guyno wrote:
keenie wrote:
great_magnet wrote:I think it's actually hearplay Ely...

The Board of Directors are not the most reliable bunch Sys, they tend to sample some of suppliers wares a little too regularly...
when in the booth: foreplay+hearplay=heresy
immunity applies
however Mal and other members of the department cannot be there 100% of the time to ensure guarantees of discretion are met, so everybody should familiarise themselves with the product disclosure statement before friday.
you dont want your only defence later on to be STFU.

Can I please submit a new application for the PLATINUM PLUS package known around the Standards office as the PLATINUM STANDOVER package complete with large goons with the means to S(anybody)TFU.

You want Judd with that sir?

Guyno · Post by **Guyno** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:57 am

great_magnet wrote:
Guyno wrote:
keenie wrote: when in the booth: foreplay+hearplay=heresy
immunity applies
however Mal and other members of the department cannot be there 100% of the time to ensure guarantees of discretion are met, so everybody should familiarise themselves with the product disclosure statement before friday.
you dont want your only defence later on to be STFU.

Can I please submit a new application for the PLATINUM PLUS package known around the Standards office as the PLATINUM STANDOVER package complete with large goons with the means to S(anybody)TFU.
You want Judd with that sir?

Standard.

cuznmatt · Post by **cuznmatt** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:57 am

only 30 odd hours to go sweet as. how quick did this week go?

great_magnet · Post by **great_magnet** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 10:03 am

Guyno wrote:
great_magnet wrote:
Guyno wrote:

Can I please submit a new application for the PLATINUM PLUS package known around the Standards office as the PLATINUM STANDOVER package complete with large goons with the means to S(anybody)TFU.
You want Judd with that sir?
Standard.

We are still in negotiation with her agent, however we do have the back-up plan of former Brownlow Medallist, Chris Judd who is more than happy to handle your package as long as there is no media present and he is not drug tested.