People who fart in the workplace.

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:50 pm

WHY DO PEOPLE DO IT??!?!?!?
(Ok, I know why, der, because they're having a bowl movement, but this is in reference to those who expell methaine out of there asshole with out using toilet fascilities. ... Those who plan it and drop it purposely around other unsuspecting colleagues. Ass Ninjas)

Fargen hell.

Im so angry, I fucken walked into a fart trap today one of the office people laid.

It was horrible.

On my way out they were like "hey Adrian stand over here"

Gettttttt fucked. I'm not that stupid.

I might be so blind I write like a dyslexic from a foreign country, but even a fucken blind man could smell that coming.

Have people no shame? I just want to work in a fart free enviroment

kronz · Post by **kronz** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:11 pm

My farts smell better than yours.

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:52 am

NakedAge wrote:even a fucken blind man could smell that coming

......................

L-J · Post by **L-J** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:56 am

flippo wrote:
NakedAge wrote:even a fucken blind man could smell that coming
......................

i thought the same....

ulyssian · Post by **ulyssian** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:59 pm

L-J wrote:
flippo wrote:
NakedAge wrote:even a fucken blind man could smell that coming
......................

i thought the same....

Lil MiSbreaks · Post by **Lil MiSbreaks** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:04 pm

They suck naked age, I hear ya.

Its not fair. And its not hard to go the bathroom and do it. Is simply isnt.

cuznmatt · Post by **cuznmatt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:45 pm

i used to hate it when you'd had a big night out and you're at work and the souva from 2am catches up with you. sometimes you aint got time to get to the bathroom. you'd drop the bomb but coincidentally just as you do that someone would walk to your desk to speak with you about something. the cringes.

i used to drop stinkers on the elevator just as i got out at peak hour rush. gotta feel for the suckers riding that thing to the 21st floor. i can only hope that you were one of the victims naked age.

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:54 pm

Lil MiSbreaks wrote:

They suck naked age, I hear ya.

Its not fair. And its not hard to go the bathroom and do it. Is simply isnt.

get stuffed, if I had to go to the bathroom every time i farted at work, I'd have to move a computer in there to get anything done. and theres no way I"m doing that, too many strange looks when you remark to people that you have to go the bathroom to "get some work done".

Lil MiSbreaks · Post by **Lil MiSbreaks** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:26 pm

Yeah ok, well thats a point too. I guess im referering to the stinkers then. And I have an expectation that MOST of the time, you bloody know when its going to be a eureka, you just do.

To be aware of your own body situation and if you know its going to smell, THEN go to the toilet, or wherever.

Im saying when you know its going to stink, fuck off somewhere else.

Audible, yet not odouress is just funny, with the expecation that a few reekers might slip out in there and we have to accept those as par for the cource you know.

Jesus, i think ive thought about this too much

Fucking

at Get stuffed btw. Alf Stewart.

cuznmatt · Post by **cuznmatt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:31 pm

sometimes they just creep up on ya. like you think you're in the clear coz you already dropped your guts 10 mins ago in the elevator then bam. pwaor!

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:43 pm

Just imagining mrj with a computer in the toilet.

Post by **breaksRbest** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:48 pm

"I think deep down in side, people want to smell other people’s farts. Cause you smell them, and people always tell you they farted and you don’t leave you pause a second…..Yeah you did!! " - Eddie Murphy

cuznmatt · Post by **cuznmatt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:08 pm

yes you did

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:16 pm

hmmm, while in principle, going to the bathroom to fart is correct, but if you have an overactive digest system, some days that just is not possible. I switched diet a few months ago and i was literally farting every 2-3 minutes for a good 4 hours, and they were smelly, this went on for 2 weeks then it died down, luckily i sit away from most people but i did have some people approach me just after id done one, my tactic was to jump out of my seat and start walking in the other direction, magicians call it misdirection, i call it evacuation.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:22 pm

I don't see an issue

I'm throwing high fives to the fartee if it's a cracker

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Yes mat I was a victim. I know thats made your day.

Anyways.

When I'm at work, I just don't get the urge to drop one. I'm proud of my bowels.

Today someone else dropped one as he went into the toilets, but it was really loud, and as someone said. Loud with no odour, IS just funny. I don't care how posh and intelligent you are, I think potty humour is the best source of laughter.

Lets be honest, how many times have you gone to squeeze your cheecks and let a hugeeeeeee one go that like, echoes in the bowl and burst out into hysterics because you can't believe it came from you. It's funny.

But, theres a time and place.

At clubs/bars aswell now.

Since the smoking laws, they reek. You can see on drunk peoples faces I think. I think their face says it all. Because they're drunk, they're inside they're own head and you can see the voice saying "I really gotta fart, but, I can't be fucked going to the toilet, maybe I can squeeze it out quietly"

Sometimes its so bad I wanna throw up.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:31 pm

Fuck it. I fart, and my workmates can enjoy the odiferous nirvana.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:32 pm

You must be young......

nostrils not yet fully developed.

Farts are like olives and cheese - taste bad when you're young but amazing as you get older.

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:40 pm

Ey I've always loved olives. Cheese... ...... Hrmmmmmm

Don't get me wrong, they're hilarious, even when theyre loud and reek and people own up to them, but it's the SBD's man... They're just not kind

cuznmatt · Post by **cuznmatt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:43 pm

NakedAge wrote: I'm proud of my bowels.

must be good to have something that truly can take pride in.

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:46 pm

Yeah it is. .. What are you proud of?

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:51 pm

all farts are amazing.

AMAZING

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:57 pm

Feigan wrote:all farts are amazing.

AMAZING

agreed, farting is like sharing, sharing the food you had for lunch/breakfast and it also reminds you of how good the food was you just ate, absolutely glorious.
Sharing is caring

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:59 pm

.... Are you one of those guys who likes to sit under the glass table and have fat hookers take a shit on it?

Post by **huge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:07 pm

i fart like mad _all the time_.

im lucky at work we sit quite a distance from eachother so that's not so much an issue.

fuck holding farts in.

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:08 pm

Yeah Al, do you get into that?

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:13 pm

huge wrote:i fart like mad _all the time_.

im lucky at work we sit quite a distance from eachother so that's not so much an issue.

fuck holding farts in.

Fuck oath. Farting is awesome. Like The Beatles, it's one of those things adds just a little bit of magic to life.

Post by **breaksRbest** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:19 pm

airborne poo particles

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:20 pm

yeah but it's like sawing a box in half with a person inside at a funeral. .............. Bum magic has its place.

Preferably not around me. ... I work hard to smell nice. I go the 9 yards, and my job is a physical one so I should be allowed to smell, but I put effort in out of respect for the noses of those around me. ... Others should do the same. ...........

Like, ok, imagine you walked past the hottest girl you ever seen, and she smelt like she just took a massive dump. ... would you still want to divide and conquer?

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:21 pm

into it, shit i DOCUMENT it, ive got a library at home, so whenever im feeling hungry i just pull out a trusty video, i even specify what the hooker has to eat 4 hours prior to her visit.
Friday night is pizza night, but my favourite is curry night! SPLAT

Post by **huge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:22 pm

everyone farts

why fight it?

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:23 pm

Almax, You could get her to do it in a sponge and ring it out over your face maybe?

Huge: Because its like the impossible battle

Nah its just politeness. Its nice to live in a toxic free enviroment.

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:32 pm

no thats just plain sick you fucking freak

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:44 pm

jesus h.

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:45 pm

huge wrote:everyone farts

then why is it funny?

smelling someone's insides when you don't even know their name, not my favourite thing to do.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:48 pm

Goodtimes for none.

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:53 pm

God bless bums.

How could something so beautiful be responsible for something so vile?

They truly are an extremity of beauty and the beast.

obliveus · Post by **obliveus** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:08 pm

I lay SBD's all the time in class, then walk by a student and go...

"Jeez, Liam (name is insignificant) did you just rip one?"

All the other students play Liam out for farting in class, he gets high fives at lunch from all his mates and I keep the insides out. Everyone's a winner, except for when Liam wants to ask some random out.

almax · Post by **almax** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:35 pm

obliveus wrote:I lay SBD's all the time in class, then walk by a student and go...

"Jeez, Liam (name is insignificant) did you just rip one?"

All the other students play Liam out for farting in class, he gets high fives at lunch from all his mates and I keep the insides out. Everyone's a winner, except for when Liam wants to ask some random out.

im telling Benny, Mike and Bryce these facts, in fact, i may have let something slip last night about your extra curricular activities

...or i may not have

spazz · Post by **spazz** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:51 pm

Hardy wrote:
huge wrote:i fart like mad _all the time_.

im lucky at work we sit quite a distance from eachother so that's not so much an issue.

fuck holding farts in.
Fuck oath. Farting is awesome. Like The Beatles, it's one of those things adds just a little bit of magic to life.

Now this makes me feel better about the world.

I usually fart in bed when I am horizontal, like some mild gravity effect on my bowels. I too fart all the time, and they really are sulphurous little guys let me tell you. Saves trimming my nostril hairs.

This almost calls for a fan club on Facebook.................

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:35 pm

Hardy wrote:Fuck it. I fart, and my workmates can enjoy the odiferous nirvana.

nic · Post by **nic** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 12:04 am

NakedAge · Post by **NakedAge** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 12:51 pm

Show some control.

My theory is the more polite you are about bodily fluids and gasses, the hotter the chick you will end up with

It sounds ridiculous but its all about standards. If you maintain a standard in yourself, people with those same or higher standards will look at you with interest.

If you walk around farting in the open like an animal, I figure only a bush pig will want to fornicate with you.

Its like drinking for the sake of drinking. Just because an occasion arrises where you CAN drink, doesn't mean you HAVE to.
You should be able to control yourself and have some restraint and maintain your dignity.

Just because you CAN drop your guts, doesn't mean you should. You should have some anal restraint and maintain your dignity. Theres nothing worse than someone who won't admit it, because it makes everyone uncomfotable, but at the same time, to be so open about it that you just drop it because you can is disrespectful to other peoples noses.

STANDARDS FELLAS!! STANDARDS!!!

Hatsudai · Post by **Hatsudai** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:05 pm

needs more IMO