TEN YEARS OF NOTHING - not one fucking thing!

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:39 pm

Summer and it's associated northerlies can eff off imo.

Spring = w1n
Autumn = w1n
Winter = w1n

Summer =

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 2:23 pm

agree

Post by **JAMESSSS** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 3:13 pm

Watch the posted video on YouTube.

I love the little chin stroke before it drops.

Ahaha.

Post by **huge** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:05 pm

hahah he loves it!

Post by **fooishbar** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:37 pm

fucking uk embassy are too busy to take registered post, so suggest using expresspost. great!

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:42 pm

i want some cold weather farken!
brings a whole new definition to sweater puppies tbh.
will be coming back to summer which is faaaaaaiiiiiil. just in time for crazy hot, no nice springa ding for me.

although apparently the winter here is fairly cool, so hopefully i'll get a month or two respite.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:13 pm

3 back-to-back winters for this little snowbunny

Next summer I'm seeing is late 2011... and even then, could be in USA working on oilspill, so could dodge that bullet too!

I am totally loving Google Trends.

So what is the US fapping to today?

http://www.google.com/trends

Hot Searches (USA)
1. how did farrah s baby daddy die

2. rachel zoe taylor

3. taylor jacobson

4. mike jones

5. justin bieber takes estrogen pills

6. rick snyder

7. distinguo

8. mitzi kapture

9. bad girls club

10. michigan election results

Post by **huge** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:22 pm

it's all about insights http://www.google.com/insights/search/#

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:39 pm

Ha, been using that too!

Post by **huge** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:58 pm

i like the forcast feature

gnat · Post by **gnat** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:55 am

JAMESSSS wrote:
Watch the posted video on YouTube.
I love the little chin stroke before it drops.

Ahaha.

total gurn face, he's so into it. fuck it's a horrible track though- ugh

i love the :-O face. best

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:27 pm

"live your life like every week is shark week"

this is my new motto

Jinx · Post by **Jinx** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 2:00 pm

Does anyone have any suggestions for a housewarming gift? Need to get something for a mate and his fiance and I wouldn't have a clue whats good.

Fents · Post by **Fents** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 2:15 pm

apologies in advance jinx

Jinx · Post by **Jinx** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 2:24 pm

Fents wrote:apologies in advance jinx

lol. took me a minute to get that! well played sir

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:08 pm

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford
:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering
banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops
his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code
3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using
different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled'
PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the
foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:16 pm

lol that is pretty old D

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:28 pm

so are you.

gnat · Post by **gnat** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:50 pm

me too!

i don't mind old goodies. here's another one i save for shit days ot make me laugh:

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"

which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics

correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, then the

pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let

it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas'
pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.

S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

LOL awesome

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:50 pm

ohhh touche

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:53 pm

LOL those ones are well funny Gnat, and i don't think i have seen those ones before

this always cracks me up -

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:06 pm

flight check is awesome XD
bassfase is awesome XD

posted on fbook ehehe

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:11 pm

my posts are getting closer and closer to the current year!
one day, i will be in the future!

tomorrow perhaps?
who knows!!!

gnat · Post by **gnat** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:52 am

it will come CoB. you've been AWOL for a bit- welcome back

monday

no one likes a monday.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:00 am

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:16 am

i normally like monday because it is my friday, and at this time, i have finished work, and got home and begin getting bored and internetting for a while.
buuuuut... my 2IC had an accident and possibly will not be in tomorrow, so i may need to work tomorrow.
so it is today might have become thursday...

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:18 am

also, yeh i tend to forget some of the forums i frequent for a while, until i get really bored one day and suddenly remember them all...

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:00 am

Thursday is the new monday.

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:53 pm

i could never get the hang of thursdays?

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:02 pm

Sunday I've got Thursday on my mind

Post by **huge** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 3:13 pm

my 82 year old grandad just added me on facebook. he's such a nerd.

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 3:42 pm

Pics or stfu.

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:19 pm

awesome

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:30 pm

in other news... weather!

witty_pseudonym · Post by **witty_pseudonym** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:04 pm

39 degrees and 70% humidity here. kill me.

Post by **JAMESSSS** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:15 pm

http://www.news.com.au/national/judge-r ... 5903563377

Got to be joking.

nic · Post by **nic** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:17 pm

fukign raining
grizzle

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:43 pm

A QUEENSLAND judge has found the terms "nigger" and "sandnigger" are not offensive to a reasonable person.

so anyone who finds them offensive is not reasonable.
ya hear that you unreasonable nigger!!!

(please do not be offended by this post)
(PS. i had never heard sandnigger before..)

Post by **fooishbar** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 7:45 pm

JAMESSSS wrote:http://www.news.com.au/national/judge-r ... 5903563377

Got to be joking.

christ.

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 8:38 pm

apparently saying "JESUS CHRIST!" on american television is not permitted.

like you are allowed to say it, but u are not allowed to say it with emphasis.
or. something, i cant really remember what the person was talking about...
like you are allowed to say it if you are talking about jesus christ, but you are not allowed to use it as a swear...

which i think is why that ep of futurama where they were going "JESUS CHRIST!!!" all the time was because they could argue they were talking about the painting...

also maybe why south park has jesus as a character?

or maybe i made all of this up in a dream i had one time

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:29 am

Awesome.

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:45 am

Mega awesome.

that is gold.

gnat · Post by **gnat** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:48 am

face like an uncooked pudding

oh hai guys

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:01 am

Morning Gnat.

Morning Beeters.

Hump it up

Post by **fooishbar** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:49 am

the 'abbott quizzed on broadband and the economy' part of http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/ is amazing. god i hope they lose.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:36 am

nervous and excited today....and tired

need to chill da fuck out yo

LOL at COB, you funny!

Lol at mirror dude, what da fuck

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:13 pm

Hi, I'm back.
Work posts have recommenced - see the gripe thread for further details.
So what have I missed.

A couple of peeps have gone to Asis for holidays?
Preggers?
New jobs?
4 Walls?

Fents · Post by **Fents** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:19 pm

Blaxter wrote:Hi, I'm back.

Preggers?

CoB · Post by **CoB** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:22 pm

o.O
fents is pregnant?

Blaxter · Post by **Blaxter** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:45 pm

nice one fents