the news thread

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 5:59 pm

what if I'm just a bad something.

like a bad cook? or a bad speler? can i shoot people then?

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:01 pm

C.I.A. wrote:it could very easily mutate into something approaching 12 monkeys-style future, complete with mad stencil art.

RAD,

Feigan · Post by **Feigan** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:02 pm

What if you're just plain old bad at ass?

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:48 pm

Here's what i want to know.

Since when did we have an organised, co-ordinated international response to these things, complete with nurses at airports, nurses who seem to know exactly what to look for... The US did not even have a response to a major natural disaster, yet somehow the whole world knows exactly what to do when a flu starts killing people.

The whole thing is like a bad movie.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:58 am

^ are you happy or unhappy with the response the "world" has taken?

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:40 am

DBoy wrote:Here's what i want to know.

Since when did we have an organised, co-ordinated international response to these things, complete with nurses at airports, nurses who seem to know exactly what to look for... The US did not even have a response to a major natural disaster, yet somehow the whole world knows exactly what to do when a flu starts killing people.

The whole thing is like a bad movie.

The current Pandemic Response was developed after the SARS scare. The World Health Organisation realised that global response to potentially deadly pandemics was woefully inadequate and developed an Epidemic and Pandemic Alert and Response (EPR). Given that pandemics are inevitable, the framework was developed with the following aims:

1.Support Member States for the implementation of national capacities for epidemic preparedness and response in the context of the IHR(2005), including laboratory capacities and early warning alert and response systems;

2.Support national and international training programmes for epidemic preparedness and response;
Coordinate and support Member States for pandemic and seasonal influenza preparedness and response;

3.Develop standardized approaches for readiness and response to major epidemic-prone diseases (e.g. meningitis, yellow fever, plague);

4.Strengthen biosafety, biosecurity and readiness for outbreaks of dangerous and emerging pathogens outbreaks (e.g. SARS, viral haemorrhagic fevers); and

5. Maintain and further develop a global operational platform to support outbreak response and support regional offices in implementation at regional level.

See http://www.who.int/csr/disease/influenz ... index.html for the pandemic preparedness document. Is an interesting read.

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:46 am

youthful_implants wrote:
C.I.A. wrote:it could very easily mutate into something approaching 12 monkeys-style future, complete with mad stencil art.
RAD,

lol i was picturing something out of Outbreak with that monkey that almost killed a whole town styles.

*waits for Dustin Hoffman to save the world*

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:01 pm

C.I.A. wrote:
DBoy wrote:Here's what i want to know.

Since when did we have an organised, co-ordinated international response to these things, complete with nurses at airports, nurses who seem to know exactly what to look for... The US did not even have a response to a major natural disaster, yet somehow the whole world knows exactly what to do when a flu starts killing people.

The whole thing is like a bad movie.
The current Pandemic Response was developed after the SARS scare. The World Health Organisation realised that global response to potentially deadly pandemics was woefully inadequate and developed an Epidemic and Pandemic Alert and Response (EPR). Given that pandemics are inevitable, the framework was developed with the following aims:

1.Support Member States for the implementation of national capacities for epidemic preparedness and response in the context of the IHR(2005), including laboratory capacities and early warning alert and response systems;

2.Support national and international training programmes for epidemic preparedness and response;
Coordinate and support Member States for pandemic and seasonal influenza preparedness and response;

3.Develop standardized approaches for readiness and response to major epidemic-prone diseases (e.g. meningitis, yellow fever, plague);

4.Strengthen biosafety, biosecurity and readiness for outbreaks of dangerous and emerging pathogens outbreaks (e.g. SARS, viral haemorrhagic fevers); and

5. Maintain and further develop a global operational platform to support outbreak response and support regional offices in implementation at regional level.

See http://www.who.int/csr/disease/influenz ... index.html for the pandemic preparedness document. Is an interesting read.

I love it when you use long words.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:03 pm

youthful_implants wrote:
C.I.A. wrote:
DBoy wrote:Here's what i want to know.

Since when did we have an organised, co-ordinated international response to these things, complete with nurses at airports, nurses who seem to know exactly what to look for... The US did not even have a response to a major natural disaster, yet somehow the whole world knows exactly what to do when a flu starts killing people.

The whole thing is like a bad movie.
The current Pandemic Response was developed after the SARS scare. The World Health Organisation realised that global response to potentially deadly pandemics was woefully inadequate and developed an Epidemic and Pandemic Alert and Response (EPR). Given that pandemics are inevitable, the framework was developed with the following aims:

1.Support Member States for the implementation of national capacities for epidemic preparedness and response in the context of the IHR(2005), including laboratory capacities and early warning alert and response systems;

2.Support national and international training programmes for epidemic preparedness and response;
Coordinate and support Member States for pandemic and seasonal influenza preparedness and response;

3.Develop standardized approaches for readiness and response to major epidemic-prone diseases (e.g. meningitis, yellow fever, plague);

4.Strengthen biosafety, biosecurity and readiness for outbreaks of dangerous and emerging pathogens outbreaks (e.g. SARS, viral haemorrhagic fevers); and

5. Maintain and further develop a global operational platform to support outbreak response and support regional offices in implementation at regional level.

See http://www.who.int/csr/disease/influenz ... index.html for the pandemic preparedness document. Is an interesting read.
I love it when you use long words.

Alas, Alex, my gastric capacity knows no satitety

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:08 pm

C.I.A. wrote:
youthful_implants wrote:
I love it when you use long words.
Alas, Alex, my gastric capacity knows no satitety

fo shizzle ma fizzle.

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:43 pm

and the abundance of nurses who are trained in this particular area of expertise? including the knowledge and practical application of thermal scanning for flue symptoms? I'm impressed with our readiness. Go WHO, way to display your organisations effectiveness. Please send your tactical response unit my regards

ghetto kitty · Post by **ghetto kitty** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:46 pm

so should i be wearing my bio suit on the plane when i board in 3 weeks?
is borneo/malaysia under any threat?

jeebus, maybe i will end up with pig aids.

mrj · Post by **mrj** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:08 pm

ghetto kitty wrote:so should i be wearing my bio suit on the plane when i board in 3 weeks?

Definitley. At the very least you can ditch the helmet and shoot a video remake of Heavy D's "Now that we found love". Sounds sick innit.

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:32 pm

In other news former Heavy D $ the Boyz band member, G-Wizz, was recently arrested on forgery charges. In a statement made by Captain Noaha Waay of Ohio's infamous Forgery Unit, G-Wizz was accused of making claims to being some kind of exclamation when it appears that evidence gathered by the Forgery Unit and members of the Cultural Authority of America make G-Wizz out to be merely a blip on the map.

When contact for comment G-Wizz could only be heard to mumble something about a loose connection to a Michael Jackson record and then noises which appeared to sound like a pig. A neighbour of G-Wizz, who now lives in Mexico, has claimed that on numerous occasions G-Wizz has been seen hanging about the local deli, sniffing nurses and priests who frequent the area.

A close friend who wishes not to be named said “Things have just not been the same for G since they names that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force the same name, Gee-Whiz, he seemed to think it effected his notoriety”.

The case against G-Wizz continues tomorrow.

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:38 pm

wtf.

I used to love heavy d and the boyz.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:44 pm

DBoy wrote:and the abundance of nurses who are trained in this particular area of expertise? including the knowledge and practical application of thermal scanning for flue symptoms? I'm impressed with our readiness. Go WHO, way to display your organisations effectiveness. Please send your tactical response unit my regards

The chimney response team sends you its love.

Direkt · Post by **Direkt** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:02 pm

youthful_implants wrote:wtf.

I used to love heavy d and the boyz.

Blue Funk FTW

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:07 pm

blip.

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:54 pm

Was meant to travel domestically to Sydders today but stupid JetStar put me on a stupid internatty flight stopping off at Sydders. Do you suppose they clean down every surface with antibacterial wipes on internatty planes before every flight?

calstro · Post by **calstro** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:40 am

WHO - Phase 5.

Woot.

I always thought it would be the birds that killed us all.

ADD_Boy · Post by **ADD_Boy** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:56 am

mixtress wrote:Was meant to travel domestically to Sydders today but stupid JetStar put me on a stupid internatty flight stopping off at Sydders. Do you suppose they clean down every surface with antibacterial wipes on internatty planes before every flight?

i doubt any airline does that on any flight. planes = filth !!!

They all look so old and disguisting!!

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:08 pm

C.I.A. wrote:Not looking fantastic at the moment, but may not be a big deal. If it ramps up to 5, start buying water and baked beans.

elevated to phase 5 today

http://www.theage.com.au/world/who-rais ... tml?page=1

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:28 pm

Looks like we found the cause of the problem too...

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:29 pm

Not very concerned at the moment. Avoiding it is easy... don't go OS.

Also, syptoms are pretty mild. Will be interesting to see if it mutates into zombie-brain-eating rage-disease.

Wouldn't mind a holiday or for society to collapse. Bit of both would be best. I've still got my eye on the Aston Martin dealership... when the city has descended into lawless chaos I'm hotfooting it to the dealership (avoiding the zombies who are scared of daylight) with my "complete idiot's guide to hotwiring an Aston Martin".

It'll be just like GTAIV only driving on the other side of the road

youthful_implants · Post by **youthful_implants** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:44 pm

C.I.A. wrote:Not very concerned at the moment. Avoiding it is easy... don't go OS.

Also, syptoms are pretty mild. Will be interesting to see if it mutates into zombie-brain-eating rage-disease.

Wouldn't mind a holiday or for society to collapse. Bit of both would be best. I've still got my eye on the Aston Martin dealership... when the city has descended into lawless chaos I'm hotfooting it to the dealership (avoiding the zombies who are scared of daylight) with my "complete idiot's guide to hotwiring an Aston Martin".

It'll be just like GTAIV only driving on the other side of the road

Bang!

retzie · Post by **retzie** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:01 pm

Now to the real news...

Stillwater's Testicle Spectacle

the sorry excuse for a student newspaper wrote:Bull testicles, beer, a few thousand friends and a four-night festival of some of the biggest names in country music.

New Orleans has Mardi Gras, New York City brings a crowd for New Year’s Eve and in Stillwater, Calf Fry 2009 begins tonight.

The event is known as the “Testicle Festival” because of the fried calf testicles sold at the festival.

And I shall try my best to make myself available to this young man:

“Well, most of my buddies have gotten arrested out there before,” Collins said. “I’m just going to try not to.

“It’s gonna be a good time. I’m gonna have some fun, do a little drinking and hit on some ladies.”

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Fri May 01, 2009 11:50 am

Morning swine, boars and piglets

Have been issued virus-proof respirators by work. Work just fine, but leave an unsightly mark around my face when I remove, and elastic head-strap = bad hair day. All the guys have been told to get rid of facial hair, cos it ruins the seal and virus can get through via beard-mediated spaces. Wish that 'ironic moustaches' were virus traps. God I hate hipster moustaches. Good times. Good times.

Recommended reading: 'The Plague' by Camus, 'Journal of a Plague Year' by Defoe, 'Animal Farm' by Orwell and 'Charlotte's Web' by fuck knows. Ideas for wasting time... come up with various gruesome endings for the pig in Charlotte's Web or the pig in the movie 'babe'. Perhaps have unsuspecting people eat main character.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:14 pm

so, Cia, what's your opinion on seasonal flu shots? I never get them... some people think I'm stupid, but I dunno I just never get the flu. I also don't really like the thought of injecting flu virus (dead or otherwise) into me...

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:21 pm

deviant wrote:so, Cia, what's your opinion on seasonal flu shots? I never get them... some people think I'm stupid, but I dunno I just never get the flu. I also don't really like the thought of injecting flu virus (dead or otherwise) into me...

The shots that were developed to counter the 1970's Swine 'flu were more dangerous than the flu itself and killed quite a few people. I have also been on the receiving end of a dodgy vaccination... when I was four I was vaccinated with a measles vaccine that hadn't been treated and I got given full-blown measles. Way to go, guys!

The flu shot is going to be given to people on the front line, and even then it won't grant immunity because it was developed for a different flu strain. Even if they nail this flu and get a good vaccine going in about 6 months time, I'm still going to hang back and see what it does to a cross-section of the community before lining up to get mine. There are so many unknowns, and with the standard 'flu if you have a decent immune system you should be ok. It is only when the virus mutates and causes immune systems to go into unstoppable positive feedback loops that you get cytokine storms... if people start haemmoraging and bleeding to death (BLUD! BLUD!) than I'll consider the vaccine.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:40 pm

yeah, but what about SEASONAL flu shots?

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:48 pm

Are we not just promoting these virus' to become stronger by using the vaccines?
If we fight it naturally surely the pace at which they evolve will stay in line with the rate at which are immune systems battle them, by jumping steps are we not promoting them to evolve faster too... It seems like a dangerous battle (/cycle) that we are unlikely to win. After all nature designed us, surely it will out design us in a duel.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:52 pm

Needs more panic and hysteria and looting

WHERE DO WE GET THESE PLACEBOS!?! MAYBE THERE'S SOME IN THIS TRUCK!!!!

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:55 pm

DBoy wrote:Are we not just promoting these virus' to become stronger by using the vaccines?
If we fight it naturally surely the pace at which they evolve will stay in line with the rate at which are immune systems battle them, by jumping steps are we not promoting them to evolve faster too... It seems like a dangerous battle (/cycle) that we are unlikely to win. After all nature designed us, surely it will out design us in a duel.

What do you mean by 'stronger'?

some diseases have been eradicated by immunisation. Polio hasn't evolved to become more dangerous. You seem to be thinking of the evolutionary arms race... you have to keep running faster to stay in the same place... diseases play by the same rules and tend to become less dangerous over time because the disease that doesn't kill as quickly passes on to more people... ebola is dangerous but burns out quickly cos it kills it's host... hiv is much slower and much more successful cos it lies 'dormant' for so many years.

And no, Dan, never had a 'seasonal' flu shot. Had the flu three times in my life. If I worked in healthcare I'd have it... we get offered it at work, but can't be assed.

ADD_Boy · Post by **ADD_Boy** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:56 pm

Hardy wrote:Needs more panic and hysteria and looting

WHERE DO WE GET THESE PLACEBOS!?! MAYBE THERE'S SOME IN THIS TRUCK!!!!

LOL !!! exactly!!

I'm down for looting and pillage!!

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:01 pm

ADD_Boy wrote:
Hardy wrote:Needs more panic and hysteria and looting

WHERE DO WE GET THESE PLACEBOS!?! MAYBE THERE'S SOME IN THIS TRUCK!!!!
LOL !!! exactly!!

I'm down for looting and pillage!!

Hardy I pissed my pants

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:03 pm

There's a 2 and a half year old girl in Britain who is now the youngest member of MENSA, with an IQ of 156.

Bitch

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:07 pm

I read the headline this morning "Dont panic, but stock up" and half expected to find the streets full of looters!

I'm ready!

CIA - I thought the flu and it's various strains that continue to appear were an 'evolution' that persists. Unlike other diseases which are identified, like Polio, of which there is only one type, the flu has indeed proved that it is capable of re-emerging time and time again with slightly different characteristics meaning that immunisation is constantly in need up updating.

Tell me im wrong, i have just made all this up in my head anyways.

ADD_Boy · Post by **ADD_Boy** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:09 pm

mixxy .. My Ego Needs Some Attention.

did u see that law and order episode last night .. ?

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:10 pm

mixtress wrote:There's a 2 and a half year old girl in Britain who is now the youngest member of MENSA, with an IQ of 156.

Bitch

There are so many facets to intelligence, and to think that they can all be assessed with "how many triangles in this picture" type lateral thinking tests is one of the most retarded things humans as a species have come up with.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:15 pm

IQ doesn't mean shit.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:22 pm

Hardy wrote:IQ doesn't mean shit.

What he said.

deviant · Post by **deviant** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:22 pm

According to those IQ tests I am some sort of high-genius... I'm not saying this isn't true.. just that it is unlikely.

ah fuck it... I AM a fucking genius and youse cunts better rocognise!

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Fri May 01, 2009 5:06 pm

Normally I'd agree with you all (IQ of 124 right here, barely employable, stunted conversations abound), but she knows how to spell and count in something like four languages.

Nope ADD, no Law and Order for me. I'm opposed to entertainment based around rape and such.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Mon May 04, 2009 9:59 am

DBoy wrote:I read the headline this morning "Dont panic, but stock up" and half expected to find the streets full of looters!

I'm ready!

CIA - I thought the flu and it's various strains that continue to appear were an 'evolution' that persists. Unlike other diseases which are identified, like Polio, of which there is only one type, the flu has indeed proved that it is capable of re-emerging time and time again with slightly different characteristics meaning that immunisation is constantly in need up updating.

Tell me im wrong, i have just made all this up in my head anyways.

No, you are correct, but unlike antibiotics which provide an evolutionary selection pressure for bacteria to develop 'resistance', immunisation does not provide selection pressure for viruses. Those that tend to reassemble at regular intervals do so because they belong to a type of virus 'family' rather than because the ones that have survived have overcome, say, a type of 'vaccination'.

C.I.A. · Post by **C.I.A.** » Mon May 04, 2009 10:03 am

Is all a moot point anyway lolz. A/H1N1 is less nasty than standard influenza and has killed almost no one.

There go my dreams of a mad Aston Martin hotwiring mission

DBoy · Post by **DBoy** » Mon May 04, 2009 10:09 am

It did manage to prove that the rhetoric of fear that has been the last decade has worked for the powers that be, and with in a week they are able to employ laws which can stop gatherings of more than 3, probably halt international travel and get people to spend money on goods (to stock up) - all through the most basic of media leaks and a little bit of spin...

mixtress · Post by **mixtress** » Mon May 04, 2009 10:45 am

Had a read of a conspiracy theory the other day. It said that the governments of the world fucked up by stocking up so madly on Tamiflu during the Avian scare 3 years ago and b/c the Tamiflu only has a shelf life of 3 years, the governments had to make their money back fast or risk having to throw them all away. Thus, Swine Flu scare. Stock depleted within a week.

It was an interesting thought.

nic · Post by **nic** » Mon May 04, 2009 10:48 am

its a pissweak flu imo
its like a runny nose for pigs
overblown by 10 x bazillion

some people just need to get on with it.

aroes · Post by **aroes** » Mon May 04, 2009 11:17 am

yeh i had it most of last week
not all that bad really

here's me before swine flu.................

and after.........

nic · Post by **nic** » Mon May 04, 2009 11:37 am

daaamnnnn ill take the second option.
less luturgical dance