Melbourne Beats

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:21 pm**

Yesterday I accidently farted on someone at work. actually farted ON them.

it wasn't on purpose, it just slipped out. they held a door open for me and another person, and because two people were going through the door at once I had to angle my body, which I did by putting my back to the person holding the door. It was at this most inopportune time a remarkabley resonant fart made its dash for freedom. To the casual observer it would have appeared that i deliberately turned to fart on this individual.

I said a quick excuse me and kept walking (to the bathroom, which explains why the fart escaped in the first place). As I pondered my social "fart paus" in the solitude of the mens, I convinced myself that none had heard it and that my discretion combined with my quick exit from the scene of the crime would ensure I would not be identified as "he who dealt it". I was sure that my "excuse me" people would assume was my politeness in moving past people throught he door way.

Alas it twas not to be. 15 mintues later a member from my team came into my office, closed the door and was like "hey dude, did you let one rip before when we were walking through the door". I confessed. Now my shame is public and very likely eternal.

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:22 pm**

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:23 pm**

GOLD MRJ!!! lolzamillion

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:40 pm**

mrj wrote:Yesterday I accidently farted on someone at work. actually farted ON them.

it wasn't on purpose, it just slipped out. they held a door open for me and another person, and because two people were going through the door at once I had to angle my body, which I did by putting my back to the person holding the door. It was at this most inopportune time a remarkabley resonant fart made its dash for freedom. To the casual observer it would have appeared that i deliberately turned to fart on this individual.

I said a quick excuse me and kept walking (to the bathroom, which explains why the fart escaped in the first place). As I pondered my social "fart paus" in the solitude of the mens, I convinced myself that none had heard it and that my discretion combined with my quick exit from the scene of the crime would ensure I would not be identified as "he who dealt it". I was sure that my "excuse me" people would assume was my politeness in moving past people throught he door way.

Alas it twas not to be. 15 mintues later a member from my team came into my office, closed the door and was like "hey dude, did you let one rip before when we were walking through the door". I confessed. Now my shame is public and very likely eternal.

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:12 pm**

LOOOOOOL

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:54 pm**

so many bills! argh!

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:33 pm**

mrj wrote:Yesterday I accidently farted on someone at work. actually farted ON them.

it wasn't on purpose, it just slipped out. they held a door open for me and another person, and because two people were going through the door at once I had to angle my body, which I did by putting my back to the person holding the door. It was at this most inopportune time a remarkabley resonant fart made its dash for freedom. To the casual observer it would have appeared that i deliberately turned to fart on this individual.

I said a quick excuse me and kept walking (to the bathroom, which explains why the fart escaped in the first place). As I pondered my social "fart paus" in the solitude of the mens, I convinced myself that none had heard it and that my discretion combined with my quick exit from the scene of the crime would ensure I would not be identified as "he who dealt it". I was sure that my "excuse me" people would assume was my politeness in moving past people throught he door way.

Alas it twas not to be. 15 mintues later a member from my team came into my office, closed the door and was like "hey dude, did you let one rip before when we were walking through the door". I confessed. Now my shame is public and very likely eternal.

LOLOLOL!

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:40 pm**

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:31 pm**

Turning 30 tomorrow.
Not good.

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:35 pm**

huge wrote:so many bills! argh!

fly away imo lol

do it and escaep teh darkness

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:38 pm**

so many things anchoring me here huhu.

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:47 pm**

you are the least holidayed person i know
fix it NAOW

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:28 pm**

yep hugh man up and take a holiday already.

come here and eat lamb chops at lahore kebab house for two weeks. they will totes change your outlook on food.

Posted: **Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:51 pm**

carofl misses her binge enforcerments afaik
housewarming / bbq / going away party thuis weekend
:ket: x

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:37 am**

HEAVY BREATHER SITTING NEXT TO ME DIEDIEDIE!!!
thank faaarrrrk he's finishing tomorrow. :stab:

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:28 pm**

just banged my knee so hard on the corner of my desk. its now white hot and inflamed. bar steward!!

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:48 pm**

filled fax machine with paper and got a ream of fax spam

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 1:19 pm**

fucking mice! little fuckers have chewed through my brand new bosch dishwasher! our cats have killed two in a week but apparently theres fuckloads more. its time for war! bombing and bait stations at the ready.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:40 pm**

I now have the loudest, bitchiest bitch of a bitch sitting next to me in the office.

So damn loud I can hardly hear myself on the phone.

She is also a bitch.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:46 pm**

sick her on your stalker?

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:19 pm**

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:36 pm**

They are friends.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:36 pm**

what were you thinking man?

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:39 pm**

should bang her too and let them kill eachother.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:40 pm**

gripe: lost my last hour's work thanks to cunting excel fucking out. arghghghghgh

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:02 pm**

should save all the time innit. im on control+s non stop if im using office apps.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:06 pm**

now that's just unnecessary, mr smarty pants IT man.
(it was partially recovered)

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:39 pm**

nah its totes necessary, you should know that! ctrl 's' all the way baby...like OCD that shit down

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:48 pm**

pfff. that's what autosave is for. both n00bs tbh.

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:49 pm**

obvs necessary if you havent been saving tash!

Posted: **Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:16 pm**

I have a massive sticky note stuck to my monitor that says "SAVE SAVE SAVE OR DIE"

Good words to live by,

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:50 am**

witty_pseudonym wrote: what were you thinking man?

It's the universe being cruel. This lady only started sitting next to me Monday.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:50 am**

huge wrote:should save all the time innit. im on control+s non stop if im using office apps.

use cloud based apps - they do that autosave ting properly yo.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:51 am**

mrj wrote:Yesterday I accidently farted on someone at work. actually farted ON them.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:58 am**

system wrote:
huge wrote:should save all the time innit. im on control+s non stop if im using office apps.
use cloud based apps - they do that autosave ting properly yo.

i run the biz on google. best ever. trying to get tennis to go to gapps huhu.

the cloud is so awesome.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 2:30 pm**

what is this cloud people keep talkin about? is it a centralized data suppository lol?

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:24 pm**

suppository lol!, sorry just had a pub linch

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:24 pm**

lunch even tbf

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:44 pm**

LOL! tipsy Fents, tell us some stories!

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:29 pm**

Awesome bearded boss lady is leaving.

New team is tight on hours and budget. Quibbling over working an extra half hour.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:32 pm**

well there was this one time this chick took off her top whilst fikuss was spinning tunes....wait you already knoiw that one...

ok so one day uncy cid visited and this girl shit herslef....wait you know that one too...

fuck it liz someone just walked into the office with a slab of white rabbit dark ale im grabbin another beer and ciggy, brb.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:27 pm**

payroll upgrade friday arvo. wish me luck.

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:06 pm**

Fents wrote:well there was this one time this chick took off her top whilst fikuss was spinning tunes....wait you already knoiw that one...

ok so one day uncy cid visited and this girl shit herslef....wait you know that one too...

fuck it liz someone just walked into the office with a slab of white rabbit dark ale im grabbin another beer and ciggy, brb.

hahahaha brilliant, love ya work Fentomas

Posted: **Fri Jun 24, 2011 8:53 pm**

Fents wrote:well there was this one time this chick took off her top whilst fikuss was spinning tunes....wait you already knoiw that one...

ok so one day uncy cid visited and this girl shit herslef....wait you know that one too...

fuck it liz someone just walked into the office with a slab of white rabbit dark ale im grabbin another beer and ciggy, brb.

Hahahahaha! Sooooo many memories!

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:49 am**

Petty shit for monday morning: facebook spam. Why perfectly intelligent people click on tits on facebook is utterly beyond me. Apparently you cant see tits anywhere else on the internet.

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:07 am**

mecka wrote:Petty shit for monday morning: facebook spam. Why perfectly intelligent people click on tits on facebook is utterly beyond me. Apparently you cant see tits anywhere else on the internet.

Petty is correct.

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:26 am**

payroll upgrade did not work on 1 out of 4 databases. wtf man computers. now it's all my fault for some reason.

at least it's only NSW so i'll still get paid huhu.

I fucking hate database upgrades!

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:33 am**

so it worked after 4 attempts at doing the same thing. who would want to work with db's all the time honestly.

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:39 pm**

why am i in such a crap mood?
urghghghghghghh

Posted: **Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:54 pm**

It's Monday.

Your bad mood can only last for another 12 hours and 6 minutes.

oops

twelve hours and five minutes.

MAX!

Melbourne Beats

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