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overheard in melbourne.....
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:17 pm
by deviant
thursday night.....
man: "....... it burns, like stings real bad!"
woman: "what does?"
man: "sniffing coccaine, like burns the fuck out ya nose, really stings"
woman: (laughing) "no it doesn't!! you idiot"
---------------------------------------------
then today.....
man1: "what were you just saying??"
man2: "I was saying you were a fuckhead"
man1: "Oh, ok then"
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:28 pm
by spiral
"fuck you number 15" extremely drunk guy at football, who dropped his pie down the gap in the back of pants of the guy infront of him, then tried to grab the pie out of his arse crack
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:20 pm
by same o
rofl, my mate got spewed on by a chick at the footy..
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:27 pm
by witty_pseudonym
"i bought rob* a property. he had a bit of a drug problem, so i thought it was the right thing to do."
- some guy on brunswick st.
*name changed for confidentiality.
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:29 pm
by mecka
"jesus christ there are some strange fucking characters here tonight"
- dude with foot tall green mohawk at pennywise last night. rofl.
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:33 pm
by mixtress
"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"
10 year old girl dancing and singing during lunchtime at the primary school up the road from my house.
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:20 pm
by FunkyJ
Someone at work was talking about the movie "The Fly", and explaining how the fly gets into the machine seconds before the experiment, and another guy, who's quite young, goes "oh you mean like in that Simpson's episode?"
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:33 pm
by deviant
overheard on the TV (while steve was watching the footy)....
commentator1: "outstanding play by the swans"
commentator2: "although, you could see big cocks in the background"
wtf!!?!?!
(the players name was cox (or cocks))
lol
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:36 pm
by Direkt
Gold!
And yes, Dean Cox.
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:47 pm
by Feigan
Direktor wrote:
Gold!
And yes, Dean Cox.
I didn't hear this one.....
but it's a similar football commentator announcing a Brisbane Game..
Commentator - "Brown.... Skids..... Marks......... Oh Dear"
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:53 pm
by Direkt
Awesome... wasn't Cometti was it?
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:43 pm
by kronz
-"Babies don't come out of overies, ya know"
-"Yeah they dont come out of dicks either"
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:39 pm
by Lephrenic
A gay dude at my work has the funniest lines ever.
(staring at handsome guy)
"That reminds me, I must eat later."
(during a conversation about insomnia)
"Yeah, I was tossing a lot last night too."
(when the thumb-in scanner at the front end of the office wasn't working for one employee)
"Sure, I'll help you thumb in. Just let me take you up the back end."
Incorrigible.
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:56 am
by @MILCO@
" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:14 am
by mecka
"Well now I know where my dog got my stupidity from"
"Is that a plane or a star? Because if that a plane I just wished on it"
Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:40 pm
by mrj
Special Hegg wrote:A gay dude at my work has the funniest lines ever.
(staring at handsome guy)
"That reminds me, I must eat later."
(during a conversation about insomnia)
"Yeah, I was tossing a lot last night too."
(when the thumb-in scanner at the front end of the office wasn't working for one employee)
"Sure, I'll help you thumb in. Just let me take you up the back end."
Incorrigible.
lol, thats awesome, funny fella.
Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:07 pm
by cha_chaos
FunkyJ wrote:Someone at work was talking about the movie "The Fly", and explaining how the fly gets into the machine seconds before the experiment, and another guy, who's quite young, goes "oh you mean like in that Simpson's episode?"
i hear that every time i reference a movie... who the hell am i hanging out with?
lol
Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:10 pm
by mizuhodai
@MILCO@ wrote:" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!
was the person japanese?
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:31 pm
by breaksRbest
overheard this morning....
(neighbour)
"buy a shooter.....(inaudible)...about a thousand bucks......(inaudible).......put him in a coffin.....(inaudible)
I wish I'd heard the rest of it
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:45 pm
by a1studmuffin
Geez! But just a thousand bucks for a hit? Doesn't seem like much if you ask me!!
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:46 pm
by Charlie73
You have one interesting Neighbour mate....
He is um LOUD to say the least
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:54 pm
by huge
mizuhodai wrote:@MILCO@ wrote:" it's very big windy today"............... WTF fuck does that mean!!!!!!!
was the person japanese?
or chinese! literal translation is "big wind"
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:55 pm
by breaksRbest
now he's playing Trance music and wolf whistling to it
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:08 pm
by Charlie73
OH lord!
It gets better and better
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:19 pm
by Blaxter
In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:14 pm
by mixtress
gold bs, pure gold
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:12 pm
by @MILCO@
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
damn thats nasty.....
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:02 am
by flippo
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
and then was there a loud 'ttiink' as the kidney stone colided with the urinal?
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:14 am
by spiral
removal of kidney stones Deadwood style ouch
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:30 am
by Blaxter
flippo wrote:black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
and then was there a loud 'ttiink' as the kidney stone colided with the urinal?
Or a dull splat as infectious pus dripped onto the metal grate.
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:12 pm
by witty_pseudonym
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
maybe he wanted you to kiss is better?
you look like an obliging chap bs.
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:23 pm
by deviant
black star wrote:Or a dull splat as infectious pus dripped onto the metal grate.
WRONG!!!
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:30 pm
by retzie
black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Mebbe just recently pierced....
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:46 pm
by Stray
retzie wrote:black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Mebbe just recently pierced....
If so he wouldn't be pissing at the urinal.. he'd be sitting down in a cubicle.
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:58 pm
by Blaxter
witty_pseudonym wrote:black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
maybe he wanted you to kiss is better?
you look like an obliging chap bs.
I don't kiss strangers.
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:16 pm
by retzie
Stray wrote:retzie wrote:black star wrote:In the mens toilets at the new Palace on Sunday night.
Some geezer standing at the urinal, "Ouch! my cock really hurts."
Mebbe just recently pierced....
If so he wouldn't be pissing at the urinal.. he'd be sitting down in a cubicle.
Really depends on which piercing
Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:07 am
by C.I.A.
Woman talking to her 3-year-old kid.
"Ooohh... I know. Let's get Jaws 2 and 3... mummy hasn't seen them in years".
Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:14 pm
by mixtress
C.I.A. wrote:Woman talking to her 3-year-old kid.
"Ooohh... I know. Let's get Jaws 2 and 3... mummy hasn't seen them in years".
responsible child rearing
Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:44 am
by Lizkins
hey i watched Jaws when i was about that age. i turned out fine lol
Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:46 am
by Blaxter
o rilly?
Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:03 pm
by FunkyJ
"Then our Goal Attack head butted their Goal Keeper and it was on"...
Some women in the street talking about their last netball game.
Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:19 pm
by mixtress
FunkyJ wrote:"Then our Goal Attack head butted their Goal Keeper and it was on"...
Some women in the street talking about their last netball game.
Western suburbs??
just joking. Would've loved to be a fly on the wall at that netball game
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:26 pm
by 10.15
Saturday night out the front of Cookie:
"... people don't know that Asians are much taller in Asia, its only the really short ones that migrate to Australia..."
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:48 pm
by witty_pseudonym
wtf? that's fucking lol and disturbing.
i heard a great one the other day but can't remember it.
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:55 pm
by Ani
Outside night owl:
Whingy girl: "Where are going?"
Friend: "McDonalds. McDonalds makes everyone happy!"
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:34 pm
by RK
Ani wrote:Outside night owl:
Whingy girl: "Where are going?"
Friend: "McDonalds. McDonalds makes everyone happy!"
also lol and disturbing
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:10 pm
by same o
10.15 wrote:Saturday night out the front of Cookie:
"... people don't know that Asians are much taller in Asia, its only the really short ones that migrate to Australia..."
actually that is a known fact..
it aint lies..
Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:02 pm
by deejaypcp
this isn't from Melbourne nor is it recent, but both my mate and i cracked up when we heard this many years ago at a regurgitator gig in brisbane.
girl - wanna go home and fuck then?
guy - sure
girl - well, I'm on the rag, but you can rip right into my shitter
Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:09 pm
by Lephrenic
oh lol
Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:19 pm
by spazz
deejaypcp wrote:this isn't from Melbourne nor is it recent, but both my mate and i cracked up when we heard this many years ago at a regurgitator gig in brisbane.
girl - wanna go home and fuck then?
guy - sure
girl - well, I'm on the rag, but you can rip right into my shitter
I could not stop laughing when I read this............GOLD!