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the metaphor, simile, synecdochic and allegory thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:13 pm
by huge
i love a good and totally whacky metaphor.

gimme your best. here's a heap to get you started.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:25 pm
by Hardy
His erection was so strong that he thought it burst out of its skin, like an overcooked hotdog

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:31 pm
by flippo
saw it comming like a glass cock

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:32 pm
by Hardy
Like conjoined twins, they were going head to head and only one would survive

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:39 pm
by Brain
Raymond Chandler: "I was as out of place as a tarantula on a wedding cake."

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:51 pm
by deejaypcp
I enjoy metaphor "as much as a rhino likes stomping out a fire", but it's a very easy thing to mix up.
This and most of those above are examples of simile.
Call me a fucking pedant, but anyway.

He was the new kid in town and rode in like a crier with his mouth behind a megaphone, bells clanging.

http://www.askoxford.com/results/?view= ... type=exact

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:56 pm
by huge
flippo wrote:saw it comming like a glass cock
lol

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:15 pm
by youthful_implants
this thread is like, gay.

Re: the metaphor thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:28 pm
by huge
similies eh

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:39 pm
by deejaypcp
Yeah, sorry to be a stick in the mud.

Anyway -= My all time favourite.
"I've played for 17 years like a tiger"

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:46 pm
by huge
like a tiger

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:04 pm
by fooishbar
a bad analogy is like a leaky screwdriver.

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:10 pm
by deviant
fan of the "ugly" metaphors.....
  • she had a face like a dropped pie

    he had a head like a bashed crab

    she had a face like a plasterers radio

    he had a face like a hat full of arseholes

    she had a head like a welders bench

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:19 pm
by Hardy
She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:27 pm
by witty_pseudonym
:lol:

- a face like a busted arsehole.

- sweating like a paedophile in a playground

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:24 pm
by youthful_implants
she had a cunt like a bomb in a butchers shop. :lol:

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:29 pm
by deviant
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Re: the metaphor, simile and analogy thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:35 pm
by fooishbar
deviant wrote:The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
<3 hhgttg

Re: the metaphor, simile, synecdochic and allegory thread

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:31 pm
by deejaypcp
^ wot he said

Re: the metaphor, simile, synecdochic and allegory thread

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:07 am
by deviant
you've got a face like an un-flushed toilet

Re: the metaphor, simile, synecdochic and allegory thread

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:24 pm
by mixtress
He was sweating like a hooker in church
Going off like a frog in a sock
going off like a Jewish foreskin
going off like an Arab on a plane
going off like a bride's nightie
He had a face like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit.every.branch.on.the.way.down.