TAXI DRIVERS
TAXI DRIVERS
its a flip of a coin but you always run into horror stories. lost, devo's freaks. short ride home tonight. dude was so short he could not see over the wheel. slow as fuck. brake for nothing. blind. r man every time i get in one of those cars its a roll of the dice. ive had worse case serario's but. hell everyone must have some hell stories to tell. spit
Roll of the dice. Perfect phrase to describe it.
My scariest taxi moment was being driven home from the city through Richmond, Hawthorn, Burwood and neighbouring suburbs dropping people off til my house in Mount Waverley. Throughout the whole trip the driver says nothing but he's drinking his bottled water and listening to us talk shit. Three stops before mine, he starts getting into the conversation, chatting and giggling with the girls and getting familiar. Two stops before my house he asks us if we'd like a sip of his straight vodka and reaches back to pass us the half empty 'water' bottle.
We got out. I walked 9km's home.
My scariest taxi moment was being driven home from the city through Richmond, Hawthorn, Burwood and neighbouring suburbs dropping people off til my house in Mount Waverley. Throughout the whole trip the driver says nothing but he's drinking his bottled water and listening to us talk shit. Three stops before mine, he starts getting into the conversation, chatting and giggling with the girls and getting familiar. Two stops before my house he asks us if we'd like a sip of his straight vodka and reaches back to pass us the half empty 'water' bottle.
We got out. I walked 9km's home.
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
true, but thats why im driving n laying off the booze mid week. dont care bout herb doe. taxi weekends n when pissed. but ......db wrote:Speaking of the filp of the coin...
Knowing how drunk you get, i'm sure taxi drivers would have some stories about you...
fukn cabies who dont how to drive or know where there going shits me right off
- db
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Word. If you take a job driving a car to a destination, you should at least be able to do that and not ask your passenger something as unbelievable as where Flinders St is... Which once happened to me... Russell St at the time...cammo wrote:true, but thats why im driving n laying off the booze mid week. dont care bout herb doe. taxi weekends n when pissed. but ......db wrote:Speaking of the filp of the coin...
Knowing how drunk you get, i'm sure taxi drivers would have some stories about you...
fukn cabies who dont how to drive or know where there going shits me right off
Like we do when we find Aborginal art carving and painting caveside in the Kimberleys n shit in this day n age. In this time, we be nubreed, we dreaming time, spraying instead of carving our stories in words instead of pictures.ac23 wrote:the best one i had was with scholtzy n maybe pete. years ago.
we were going down maybe little collins i think or some little street.
get stopped by garbo's lifting big fullon graffed up bins, full walls covered in tags.
old guys starts telling us how in 100years time they will dig up this crazy
art. put it in museums n shit. was really into it.
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
my uncle used to drive taxi's for a few years, always a pissa being so wasted and having your uncle pick you and your mates up.
been scared for my life a couple of times though. Had this young indian dude, had the dash decked out like a disco, house tunes cranking, clearly on coke or speed, screaming, speeding. Dude was like sometihng out of a comic.
I've also had this bloke who didnt speak, drove between the white lines, completley ignored red lights.
On the way to the Croft for Kode 9 we had this young african guy, his specal coments were classic. THis dude infront of us is just driving along, wth his mate boffing out the window, fully painting the road for about 2 kilometers. We getting hilarious special coments in this thick as fuck west african acent, was too much.
been scared for my life a couple of times though. Had this young indian dude, had the dash decked out like a disco, house tunes cranking, clearly on coke or speed, screaming, speeding. Dude was like sometihng out of a comic.
I've also had this bloke who didnt speak, drove between the white lines, completley ignored red lights.
On the way to the Croft for Kode 9 we had this young african guy, his specal coments were classic. THis dude infront of us is just driving along, wth his mate boffing out the window, fully painting the road for about 2 kilometers. We getting hilarious special coments in this thick as fuck west african acent, was too much.
Without a word of a lie.
In Sydney a few years ago i had a got into a conversation with a nice enough taxi driver and the conversation led to problems with passengers. I asked if he had many and then he reached down to near his right leg between the door and seat and revealed a small sawn off shotgun and said "thats what this is for"
In Sydney a few years ago i had a got into a conversation with a nice enough taxi driver and the conversation led to problems with passengers. I asked if he had many and then he reached down to near his right leg between the door and seat and revealed a small sawn off shotgun and said "thats what this is for"
It's tough being in an enclosed space with a perfect stranger you're paying. You gotta break some ice.buuts wrote:lol fuck!
If i was a taxi driver i would get so sick of passengers asking the same question: "Been busy tonight?"
I am guilty of asking that as the ice breaker many a time...
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
Got a cab home after a 16 hr shift at Cookie that finished at 7am. Went to get my wallet; couldn't find it. I convinced the driver to let me out... I went to my place, got some coin from my room and gave him a generous tip for trusting that I wouldn't do a runner.
The next evening I woke up and found my wallet out the front of my bedroom door. My housemate told me that the driver had found it in his cab and had dropped it off ($300.00 cash still in it) to my place after his shift.
Never got his name. What a fucking legend.
The next evening I woke up and found my wallet out the front of my bedroom door. My housemate told me that the driver had found it in his cab and had dropped it off ($300.00 cash still in it) to my place after his shift.
Never got his name. What a fucking legend.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
On the flip-side of that story...
Caught a cab in LA. He was driving at break-neck speed through Inglewood and, suprise suprise, we crash into a bus. My seatbelt stops me from going head-first through the windshield.
The LAPD turn up and I go to get out of the cab and the cops yell at me "STAY IN THE CAB". I strobe out and the cab driver tells me that the last white chick to get out of a cab that had been in a crash in Inglewood had been shot by a gang. Awesome. So the cops interview me while I am sitting in the cab, asking me if the driver was obeying the rules. All I could say was "I don't know. You guys drive on the wrong side of the road", which went down like a sack of shit with the cops.
Caught a cab in LA. He was driving at break-neck speed through Inglewood and, suprise suprise, we crash into a bus. My seatbelt stops me from going head-first through the windshield.
The LAPD turn up and I go to get out of the cab and the cops yell at me "STAY IN THE CAB". I strobe out and the cab driver tells me that the last white chick to get out of a cab that had been in a crash in Inglewood had been shot by a gang. Awesome. So the cops interview me while I am sitting in the cab, asking me if the driver was obeying the rules. All I could say was "I don't know. You guys drive on the wrong side of the road", which went down like a sack of shit with the cops.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
Thanks sooo lucky CIA and so honest of him.
My best taxi, would have been on nyd last year, when i jumped in a cab to go to Forest Hill, just onto the freeway, offered the driver a little l#n@, and he stopped the meter at $4 into a $40+ plus fare. I think that's fair. Mind you he seemed to drive alittle faster from that point onwards, 120 down the freeway. yeehaa.
My best taxi, would have been on nyd last year, when i jumped in a cab to go to Forest Hill, just onto the freeway, offered the driver a little l#n@, and he stopped the meter at $4 into a $40+ plus fare. I think that's fair. Mind you he seemed to drive alittle faster from that point onwards, 120 down the freeway. yeehaa.
Easy @ Word - 23rd May Opening Night, every saturday
Everything You Want - Fridays @ Lounge Downstairs
OldSkool Hip Hop and Funk - Saturdays @ Red Violin
www.myspace.com/djsnowie
Everything You Want - Fridays @ Lounge Downstairs
OldSkool Hip Hop and Funk - Saturdays @ Red Violin
www.myspace.com/djsnowie
Oh... and finally...
At Mammoth, California. Chatting to the cab driver who told me his name was Two Dogs.
I couldn't help it. I thought he was kidding.
"Two Dogs what????".. followed by me pissing myself laughing.
Felt like a royal bitch when I found out he wasn't kidding and he was a Cherokee Indian.
At Mammoth, California. Chatting to the cab driver who told me his name was Two Dogs.
I couldn't help it. I thought he was kidding.
"Two Dogs what????".. followed by me pissing myself laughing.
Felt like a royal bitch when I found out he wasn't kidding and he was a Cherokee Indian.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
Snowie wrote:Thanks sooo lucky CIA and so honest of him.
My best taxi, would have been on nyd last year, when i jumped in a cab to go to Forest Hill, just onto the freeway, offered the driver a little l#n@, and he stopped the meter at $4 into a $40+ plus fare. I think that's fair. Mind you he seemed to drive alittle faster from that point onwards, 120 down the freeway. yeehaa.
Dude. You would have made his day/night/shift/whatever.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
coming home in perth one night with this dude and he's yabbering away to his mate on his phone in arabic and keeps passing us glances in the mirror
He was saying something less than nice about us and my friend who's as manchester as you get replied to him in fluent scathing arabic
it was pretty funny- he was appropriately embarressed
He was saying something less than nice about us and my friend who's as manchester as you get replied to him in fluent scathing arabic
it was pretty funny- he was appropriately embarressed
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
I hate it when they do that. How paranoid do you end up feeling!gnat wrote:coming home in perth one night with this dude and he's yabbering away to his mate on his phone in arabic and keeps passing us glances in the mirror
CIA, you're one lucky chickie. You could write a very enthralling memoir
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
- cj the taniwha
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we lost a phone in a cab recently and rang it until the cabbie picked up, and when he returned it he refused to take the $20 for coming all the way back to northcote, most impressed.C.I.A. wrote:Got a cab home after a 16 hr shift at Cookie that finished at 7am. Went to get my wallet; couldn't find it. I convinced the driver to let me out... I went to my place, got some coin from my room and gave him a generous tip for trusting that I wouldn't do a runner.
The next evening I woke up and found my wallet out the front of my bedroom door. My housemate told me that the driver had found it in his cab and had dropped it off ($300.00 cash still in it) to my place after his shift.
Never got his name. What a fucking legend.
Back from the desert to stir things up a little
- stovequeen
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I generally have had pretty good cabbie experiences.
I always control the stereo though.. i can't stand listening to rubbish music which drives me crazy so i usally ask them to turn it down. I have jumped in the occasional cab playing dnb, soul or reggae!
Typically cab rides offer me a great opportunity to jabber away about sports. Most cabbies love sport.
I always control the stereo though.. i can't stand listening to rubbish music which drives me crazy so i usally ask them to turn it down. I have jumped in the occasional cab playing dnb, soul or reggae!
Typically cab rides offer me a great opportunity to jabber away about sports. Most cabbies love sport.
Indeed it is a crap job!
But, how many times recently have I had to explain to the driver where the hell he needs to go!
Melbourne Cabbies don't really know where the fark they are going these days.
Oh and I've come across a few drivers that either don't have their ID displayed, or it isn't even them in the photo!
But, how many times recently have I had to explain to the driver where the hell he needs to go!
Melbourne Cabbies don't really know where the fark they are going these days.
Oh and I've come across a few drivers that either don't have their ID displayed, or it isn't even them in the photo!
My Dad used to be a taxi driver in the old days (1977-1985) and used to tell me a few stories. I'm glad he got outta that racket
He told with pride a story of two drunk fucks leaving 4 meat pies in the back seat (2 on the floor, 2 on the seat), so the next person to get in would sit/stand on them. Dickheads put sauce on them too and my Dad hated the smell of sauce so he worked it out quick smart. As the kids ran off into the night he jumped out and threw the pies at them. In the darkness he heard an "awww fuck" and someone hit the ground. Like a kid himself, he giggled his ASS off, jumps back in the cab and speeds off...
Legendary story around my household
He told with pride a story of two drunk fucks leaving 4 meat pies in the back seat (2 on the floor, 2 on the seat), so the next person to get in would sit/stand on them. Dickheads put sauce on them too and my Dad hated the smell of sauce so he worked it out quick smart. As the kids ran off into the night he jumped out and threw the pies at them. In the darkness he heard an "awww fuck" and someone hit the ground. Like a kid himself, he giggled his ASS off, jumps back in the cab and speeds off...
Legendary story around my household
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
- stovequeen
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all cabbies should come equiped with GPS as standard.portal wrote:Indeed it is a crap job!
But, how many times recently have I had to explain to the driver where the hell he needs to go!
Melbourne Cabbies don't really know where the fark they are going these days.
Oh and I've come across a few drivers that either don't have their ID displayed, or it isn't even them in the photo!
I can't find it, but there was a story on the news recently about 3 x 19yo girls being taxied by some guy who wasn't displaying his ID. He asked them if they wanted to watch a DVD on the way home and they said 'sure'. He suggested a porno and the girls freaked a bit. Then he said something to this effect...
'dont worry, I won't rape you'
'dont worry, I won't rape you'
Only the meek get pinched...the bold survive
- system
- let the hustlers play
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Will wrote:I got a pretty cool taxi driver last time I was in Melbourne. He was a native American shaman opera singer. He read my aura and offered to do a faith healing.
Apparently I have 'got a lot of shit to do in this lifetime'.
Keep up the fibre intake then, guy!
I've had some great drivers. The best was a Brazilian jazz musician. He had some great touring stories. I've been to two of his band's shows since.
DRS wrote:It’s uplifting while we drift through time,
‘cause we keep pushing the vibe.
- SoulWhiteMan
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My brother had a mate who was doing a stint as a cabby.... had this guy in his cab who looked a bit dodge... the cabby figured out that he was just getting this guy away from town because he was a crim and the cops were after him etc... to add to the story, this guy tried to slyly sneak out of the cab and avoid paying the fair....
The cabby reversed his tyre over his right shoe. Felt he was on it. Put it in Park, and called the cops. They arrived and arrested him and he got an award from crime stoppers or something for assisting an arrest.
The cabby reversed his tyre over his right shoe. Felt he was on it. Put it in Park, and called the cops. They arrived and arrested him and he got an award from crime stoppers or something for assisting an arrest.
- cj the taniwha
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i have noticed that since we got back from the UK we are having to tell more and more cabbies how to get to places. Don't they have to sit some sort of exam to demonstrate their knowledge of roads and suburbs and stuff in melbourne?portal wrote:Indeed it is a crap job!
But, how many times recently have I had to explain to the driver where the hell he needs to go!
Melbourne Cabbies don't really know where the fark they are going these days.
Oh and I've come across a few drivers that either don't have their ID displayed, or it isn't even them in the photo!
Back from the desert to stir things up a little
Some great stories here, awesome read.
I've once had taxi driver telling me and Marvs to get married and have kiddies (he was a nice old Indian man though). He was pretty full-on about it.
On NYD this year, I was heading to the 'Eat the Beat' gig @ Espy on a tram. hopped off one tram to grab the tram ahead of us, which was heading to St.K and realise I'd left my bag on the train.
In the bag was my mic, leads, 2 x tickets, dig camera and some goodies... Hail down the next available taxi and ask him to "follow that tram". From Elsternwick we catch the tram up St.Kilda Rd (almost in the city). Driver is going through red lights and all, leap out the taxi - onto the crowded tram and my bag is ther eon the seat still, untouched...
Jump back in the taxi, return to St.Kilda and give him a massive tip - top bloke!
I've once had taxi driver telling me and Marvs to get married and have kiddies (he was a nice old Indian man though). He was pretty full-on about it.
On NYD this year, I was heading to the 'Eat the Beat' gig @ Espy on a tram. hopped off one tram to grab the tram ahead of us, which was heading to St.K and realise I'd left my bag on the train.
In the bag was my mic, leads, 2 x tickets, dig camera and some goodies... Hail down the next available taxi and ask him to "follow that tram". From Elsternwick we catch the tram up St.Kilda Rd (almost in the city). Driver is going through red lights and all, leap out the taxi - onto the crowded tram and my bag is ther eon the seat still, untouched...
Jump back in the taxi, return to St.Kilda and give him a massive tip - top bloke!
- SoulWhiteMan
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- stovequeen
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woah! thats gold. So glad you got your stuff backDirektor wrote:Some great stories here, awesome read.
I've once had taxi driver telling me and Marvs to get married and have kiddies (he was a nice old Indian man though). He was pretty full-on about it.
On NYD this year, I was heading to the 'Eat the Beat' gig @ Espy on a tram. hopped off one tram to grab the tram ahead of us, which was heading to St.K and realise I'd left my bag on the train.
In the bag was my mic, leads, 2 x tickets, dig camera and some goodies... Hail down the next available taxi and ask him to "follow that tram". From Elsternwick we catch the tram up St.Kilda Rd (almost in the city). Driver is going through red lights and all, leap out the taxi - onto the crowded tram and my bag is ther eon the seat still, untouched...
Jump back in the taxi, return to St.Kilda and give him a massive tip - top bloke!
You should be a stunt man in the movies speis
pretty dodge stuff going on with cabbies- one cab supposed to be driven only by the person with the licence but they have it on the road 24 hours a day with several different people driving it
i had a dodgy one a few months ago who was aksing me who lived with and whether he was home etc. i got him to drop me off a few streets away. didn't want him to know where i lived
lou had a psycho tourettes dude the other night too who swore profusely and was going off for the entire drive and freaked her out
that story is great direktor!
i had a dodgy one a few months ago who was aksing me who lived with and whether he was home etc. i got him to drop me off a few streets away. didn't want him to know where i lived
lou had a psycho tourettes dude the other night too who swore profusely and was going off for the entire drive and freaked her out
that story is great direktor!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
Most of the taxi drivers in Perth are weird. Few weeks ago when I was there, there was this old italian dude telling me that black people didn't deserve to be in Australia and that they were the scum of the earth, another one who basically talked my ear off about the CIA and conspiracy theories, somebody else who pulled his bongo drums from the back seat and started playing them, and this in the course of about 3 days!
Stylus Radio :: Every 2nd Sunday :: 6-8pm AEST :: http://www.nsbradio.co.uk
^^ Why do you think we sent them to the other side of Australia for ?
hehehe
hehehe
Easy @ Word - 23rd May Opening Night, every saturday
Everything You Want - Fridays @ Lounge Downstairs
OldSkool Hip Hop and Funk - Saturdays @ Red Violin
www.myspace.com/djsnowie
Everything You Want - Fridays @ Lounge Downstairs
OldSkool Hip Hop and Funk - Saturdays @ Red Violin
www.myspace.com/djsnowie
- stovequeen
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lol. Lou seems to have the worse luck with cabbies. She told me about one who was cruising along once then all of a sudden veared across the road then did a 180 spin.gnat wrote:pretty dodge stuff going on with cabbies- one cab supposed to be driven only by the person with the licence but they have it on the road 24 hours a day with several different people driving it
i had a dodgy one a few months ago who was aksing me who lived with and whether he was home etc. i got him to drop me off a few streets away. didn't want him to know where i lived
lou had a psycho tourettes dude the other night too who swore profusely and was going off for the entire drive and freaked her out
that story is great direktor!
She was like 'Shit! Are you ok dude?!' he said nothing and kept driving.. RUDE!
just this Saturday gone my girls friend from bendigo left revolved at 8am. Caught taxi and asked to go to Resevior. CAlled me an hour later, she had been dropped of $50 later about 1/2 hour from where she asked to go. I had to walk her home with aid of Melways cause she had no money left.
Guy totally just went towards his house then made her pay and get out of the cab. She is not used to Melbourne so freaked out cause he got all scary on her arse. Was 8am so she did not think to get taxi number.
Guy totally just went towards his house then made her pay and get out of the cab. She is not used to Melbourne so freaked out cause he got all scary on her arse. Was 8am so she did not think to get taxi number.
I once had a taxi driver loose his shit at me because I asked why his callsign was "Chicky 1".
Apparently you can't let anyone know your name (first or last) because that gives them power over you. He was his own man. Nobody had power over him. Chicky sticks up for Chicky.
This was after he had asked us if we liked AC DC on entry then put on "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"
Apparently you can't let anyone know your name (first or last) because that gives them power over you. He was his own man. Nobody had power over him. Chicky sticks up for Chicky.
This was after he had asked us if we liked AC DC on entry then put on "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"
Don't hate me for house
yep- the tourettes guy was after that post good vibes mega bender
she left mine at like 8pm sun night and i was completely muntarded on the couch when she rings and goes 'did you get the number?'
umm.. nup..
she thought he was going to kill her so texted his number to me. i had noooo idea- didn't even hear it. was like dude- you should have sent it to fi- my phone looked like a foreign object by that stage
i would have been zero assistance
she left mine at like 8pm sun night and i was completely muntarded on the couch when she rings and goes 'did you get the number?'
umm.. nup..
she thought he was going to kill her so texted his number to me. i had noooo idea- didn't even hear it. was like dude- you should have sent it to fi- my phone looked like a foreign object by that stage
i would have been zero assistance
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
Holy fuck.
There is the potential for a "he died with a felafel in his hand" style book in all of this.
I'm all up for compiling this shit and taking it to a publisher (profits to go to a cause we agree on... HIV orphans, homeless kids in Melbs).
Anyone else agree??
There is the potential for a "he died with a felafel in his hand" style book in all of this.
I'm all up for compiling this shit and taking it to a publisher (profits to go to a cause we agree on... HIV orphans, homeless kids in Melbs).
Anyone else agree??
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
not really because all it does it reinforce the negative stereotype about cab drivers being erratic/crazy/dangerous etc.C.I.A. wrote:Holy fuck.
There is the potential for a "he died with a felafel in his hand" style book in all of this.
I'm all up for compiling this shit and taking it to a publisher (profits to go to a cause we agree on... HIV orphans, homeless kids in Melbs).
Anyone else agree??
That's the domain of the Herald Sun.
jbs wrote:I once had a taxi driver loose his shit at me because I asked why his callsign was "Chicky 1".
Apparently you can't let anyone know your name (first or last) because that gives them power over you. He was his own man. Nobody had power over him. Chicky sticks up for Chicky.
This was after he had asked us if we liked AC DC on entry then put on "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"
mmmkay... random as right there
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
I guess so.shepherd wrote:not really because all it does it reinforce the negative stereotype about cab drivers being erratic/crazy/dangerous etc.C.I.A. wrote:Holy fuck.
There is the potential for a "he died with a felafel in his hand" style book in all of this.
I'm all up for compiling this shit and taking it to a publisher (profits to go to a cause we agree on... HIV orphans, homeless kids in Melbs).
Anyone else agree??
That's the domain of the Herald Sun.
Perhaps I should quit my job and become a 60 minutes journo.
Fat kids steal jobs from taxi driver neighbours from hell.
Edit: was just a passing idea. Please don't stop wit the stories
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
- Lizkins
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man some of these stories are full on.
have had some good cabbies, great conversations about life, politics and what have you. Even ended up staying in the cab even when arrived at the destination to keep chatting.
but my worst experience would have to be Christmas a few years back when I was really drunk, got into the cab hugging a bottle of wine (all class), the cabby started grabbing at me and then shoved his hands between my legs before preceding to drive off in the opposite direction to where I lived. I started yelling at him when I realised what he was doing and then I tried bailing at the lights. He apologised and turned the car around in the direction of my place and took me home.
have had some good cabbies, great conversations about life, politics and what have you. Even ended up staying in the cab even when arrived at the destination to keep chatting.
but my worst experience would have to be Christmas a few years back when I was really drunk, got into the cab hugging a bottle of wine (all class), the cabby started grabbing at me and then shoved his hands between my legs before preceding to drive off in the opposite direction to where I lived. I started yelling at him when I realised what he was doing and then I tried bailing at the lights. He apologised and turned the car around in the direction of my place and took me home.