TEN YEARS OF NOTHING - not one fucking thing!

[PahMaLa]

Hello Nothingners

Has to share this one a name I came across at work:
BIN SOO ONG

teehee

[ghetto kitty]

hai guys..

cia, you dont want beach, rising sea levels!

unless you can has an ark.

[C.I.A.]

hai guys..

cia, you dont want beach, rising sea levels!

unless you can has an ark.

I'll craft a place of residence on higher ground... perhaps even on stilts so that I can sit on my porch and fish whenevs. Ocean will be mad place to source foodstuffs... gathering crustaceans, drying kelp, shucking oysters, hooking fish. Will also grow melons behind the sand-dunes, and plant several orchards of indigenous bush tucker... native raspberry, candle tree, tomentosis spp, whole hoards of myrmecocystus ants for honey mmmmmmmmm.

Will the apocalypse hurry up already?! I'm looking forward to shooting poachers through their mad-max dreadlocked heads.

[ghetto kitty]

stilts, YES!
i dun like eating kelp tho

now my 'armegeddon outta here' plan isnt so crazy is it?

yall thought i was when i posted it tho

[C.I.A.]

Hearing you loud and clear, GK.

I know how to use a drill rig, and there are a whole bunch of them up in WA, so getting the stilts in should be no drama. You don't have to eath the kelp... I'm getting my brother in on this and he loves that shit.

Prolly have to source some Jarrah or Kauri stems from further south so that they are resistant to erosion/corrosion, but we can just hand pump some fuel into a bank truck (bulletproof glass) and drive down to the forests there.

Grab some canned peaches, morphine and some more bullets too while we are in the area.

I also plan to have my pet parrot by then... hopefully it will be fluent in all sorts of apocalyptic sayings, like "your water or your life, raaaagh" and "surrender your canned goods or we release the dolphins raaaagh".

[C.I.A.]

Two posts. Getting over-excited by the end of society.

[ghetto kitty]

see see i knew the best scientific minds would soon join the wagon,
as soon as society and economy caught up with the esoteric predictions

we are so thankful your on board cia, invaluable imho.



yes to morphine and peaches, yoshi will also find whatever other painkillers we may need, dont worry!

[mrj]

well enjoy

I'm gonna keep it urban, running around darkened alleys having intense gun battles with mutants and crazies ala Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.

but, y'know, sitting on a beach in Adelaide eating kelp sounds almost as exciting

[C.I.A.]

well enjoy

I'm gonna keep it urban, running around darkened alleys having intense gun battles with mutants and crazies ala Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.

but, y'know, sitting on a beach in Adelaide eating kelp sounds almost as exciting

Monkey Mia is in WA.

mrj geografy PHA1L!

You enjoy your soylent future. We will have trained a pod of dolphins to scuttle incoming pirate ships by then, which will increase hammock moonshine cocktail enjoyment time by an infinite amount. I'm also thinking of training some wedge-tailed eagles to drop rocks on zombies.

[almax]

well enjoy

I'm gonna keep it urban, running around darkened alleys having intense gun battles with mutants and crazies ala Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.

but, y'know, sitting on a beach in Adelaide eating kelp sounds almost as exciting

this is the dilemma i face, i think i would enjoy the riots and urban gangs for a few years then retire to the country side, perhaps start a village in a tucked away valley with a bunch of animals and crops.

[almax]

Armageddon survival kit
http://jahtruth.net/ask.htm

someone should make and actual survival kit, not some religious tripe

[ghetto kitty]

lol al

how bout this instead ?

http://www.72hours.org/

[C.I.A.]

Armageddon survival kit
http://jahtruth.net/ask.htm

someone should make and actual survival kit, not some religious tripe

Due to having to avoid the "Mark of the Beast" we now
only accept cash.

My survival kit: A shitload of canned food, a shitload of water, reverse-osmosis water purifiers, a power generator, a gun, some bullets, some plants and a good book or three (Harrison's Principals of Internal Medicine, a basic engineering text book and a botanical tome would do the trick).

Oh, and my parrot.

[ADD_Boy]

I think i saw u on my way to work the other day CIA..

I didn't realise until about half an hour laters...

[mrj]

well enjoy

I'm gonna keep it urban, running around darkened alleys having intense gun battles with mutants and crazies ala Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.

but, y'know, sitting on a beach in Adelaide eating kelp sounds almost as exciting

this is the dilemma i face, i think i would enjoy the riots and urban gangs for a few years then retire to the country side, perhaps start a village in a tucked away valley with a bunch of animals and crops.

yeh that sounds good actually. maybe even start my own cult.

I think I'll name my cult.........hmmm.......the children of the hesitant gopher.

Cult rule number 1 - All cult members must wear hats on their feet and shoes on their head

Cult rule number 2 - If you agree with what someone is saying you must yell in a loud voice "THREE BAGS FULL". This also replaces “amen” at the end of prayers.

Cult rule number 3 - If you wish to court a young maiden you must declare your romantic intentions by sending her a picture of Willie Nelson. The picture may be drawn if you wish.

Cult rule number 4 – If its your birthday you have to buy the cake.

Cult rule number 5 – anyone found listening to dubstep will be sent away to join Petey Bears cult.

Cult rule number 6 – No running in the halls please.

Cult rule number 7 – No heavy petting. Its all the way or nothing

Cult rule number 8 – No heavy pets. Elephants, Hippopotami etc

[ghetto kitty]

but where are the concubines, the harem in all this mrj?

[breaksRbest]

Cult rule number 7 – No heavy petting. Its all the way or nothing

Cult rule number 8 – No heavy pets. Elephants, Hippopotami etc

[retzie]

lolj. Willie Nelson pictures would actually help a lot tbh.

In other news, things I still don't understand about America:

Marching bands. My university takes its marching band very seriously. They practise on the laws three (3) times per week. Usually, the percussion section are shirtless. Every single time I walk past I snigger hopelessly. FFS, there are girls twirling flags... at every practice...

Football traditions. Here, when you want to watch the game with your mates, instead of having them 'round to your house, you all gather around the barbecue and widescreen telly SET UP ON THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK AND PARK OUTSIDE THE STADIUM!!! This is called tailgating - it's very popular. For real

Homecoming. Apparently its homecoming on Friday. I still have no real concept of what it means, but I'm scared. All the fraternities are building giant metal structures in their front yards. Have had to restrain myself from critiquing my calculus students' poor welding abilities (in addition to poor calculus abilities) - I'm not sure they could cope. Even more people are wearing orange than usual. Crazytown

[C.I.A.]

I think i saw u on my way to work the other day CIA..

I didn't realise until about half an hour laters...

Yeah, and I saw you yesterday too! Was leaving my apartment and was all "There's ADD_Boy lolz".

Say howdy next time!

[Stray]

I think i saw u on my way to work the other day CIA..

I didn't realise until about half an hour laters...

Yeah, and I saw you yesterday too! Was leaving my apartment and was all "There's ADD_Boy lolz".

Say howdy next time!

He would need to see you from a LONG way off to realise it is you by the time he got close enough to say hello.

[C.I.A.]

Lolz Waynos.
Smartarse!

I feel kinda sick after doing some research into hagfish. I don't really mind most organsims, but the idea of an underwater slime factory with no jaw that eats its prey from the inside out makes me feel kinda gooby.

An unmistakable eel-like body that is uniformly pink in colour. The mouth is a slit surrounded by fringe of short, fleshy barbels. A fleshy fin runs from the vent to the rear portion of the back, and a row pores runs along both sides from the head to the tail. A thick layer of glutinous slime (hence specific name) covers the whole body and can be sloughed in copious amounts when handled

Lolz. Sounds like a moot.

[ADD_Boy]

I think i saw u on my way to work the other day CIA..

I didn't realise until about half an hour laters...

Yeah, and I saw you yesterday too! Was leaving my apartment and was all "There's ADD_Boy lolz".

Say howdy next time!

Ok, here's the 2 i owe u

and one for good luck and i say hi next time..

[almax]

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women d iffer so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man'

She responded to my puzzled loo k by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond ea rrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[C.I.A.]

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women d iffer so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man'

She responded to my puzzled loo k by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond ea rrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[Fents]

classic.

[Lil MiSbreaks]

Oh bang, thats gold.

chicks ey

[mecka]

oh my fucking lord the new southpark episode is hilarious

[almax]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6H0i1RAdHk

ROFL

[almax]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM0FXuaPoXA

here is the original just as funny

[gnat]

your daughter kicked my dog and now he needs operation

[ghetto kitty]

l
In other news, things I still don't understand about America:

Marching bands. My university takes its marching band very seriously. They practise on the laws three (3) times per week. Usually, the percussion section are shirtless. Every single time I walk past I snigger hopelessly. FFS, there are girls twirling flags... at every practice...

Football traditions. Here, when you want to watch the game with your mates, instead of having them 'round to your house, you all gather around the barbecue and widescreen telly SET UP ON THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK AND PARK OUTSIDE THE STADIUM!!! This is called tailgating - it's very popular. For real

Homecoming. Apparently its homecoming on Friday. I still have no real concept of what it means, but I'm scared. All the fraternities are building giant metal structures in their front yards. Have had to restrain myself from critiquing my calculus students' poor welding abilities (in addition to poor calculus abilities) - I'm not sure they could cope. Even more people are wearing orange than usual. Crazytown

oh retzie, i just SAW this all so clearly. especially you sniggering at the band.
i miss america, for all these reasons and so many more.
everyone is just BALLS OUT there, 'im doin my thang and if ya dont like it ill pop a cap in your arse'
actually generates a pretty tolerant society imho. hahha.

bigups the yanks.
but they better vote for obama or ill burn my passport.

[Lil MiSbreaks]

Alright, I need some help.

My 'senior' is a dumb ass. And im not being moody, or psychotic, she quite simply is.

I have to be 'trained' by her. She isnt aware of my previous roles and my skill level actually being a lot higher than hers. But thats ok, I can kind of accept that.

I am now having to sit there and listen to her bullshit and pretend im learning things.

So basically, i think I need to learn to fake it and be genuine. I find that VERY difficult. Especially when i want to ram a stapler between the overly large gap between her teeth.

Prolly not a fri afternoon query, but if anyone is good with the fake, please give me some tips!!!

Thankyou.

[Fents]

My 'senior' is a dumb ass. And im not being moody, or psychotic, she quite simply is.

Especially when i want to ram a stapler between the overly large gap between her teeth.

why not have a word to her and say that its boring you and you already know 80% of this stuff, if that dosnt work show her your stapler.

[deviant]

high excitement here at work today.....

Psycho customer gets parking fine.... on wednesday... rings on wednesday and demands that it be withdrawn... when advised that was not possible he threatens to come in today at 4pm with a bat....

now normally these threats never get followed through with, as people get off the phone and calm down over the next day or two.

Not this time.... !!!!

[Stray]

pics or stfu

[deviant]

no shit, this guy looks like the kind of guy that would snap at any moment... the cops are all over the building, no-one has done anything as he hasn't actually done anything yet.... dude has been milling around in the foyer and out the front for over an hour now.....

ffs, he made ACTUAL threats, and he is ACTUALLY here with said cricket bat.... take the dickhead away already

[Fents]

gray nicks scoop?

[mrj]

My 'senior' is a dumb ass. And im not being moody, or psychotic, she quite simply is.

Especially when i want to ram a stapler between the overly large gap between her teeth.

why not have a word to her and say that its boring you and you already know 80% of this stuff, if that dosnt work show her your stapler.

dont agree sorry.

best plan is just to sit there and go with it. if you tell the person you are bored and already know it then
- if you need help in the future they will be disinclined to provide it.
- they probably won't like you very much and try to make your life difficult
- you are new and they are not, they will get in the ear of other team members to same effect.
- the will feel like you are not showing them respect
etc etc etc

smile, be nice, ask questions, make them feel like they are the expert.

[deviant]

well, due to said dickhead we get off work an hour early!!! yay

[Stray]

Upside down dogs

lolz

[deviant]

lol

[deviant]

I think I just had the greatest energy drink of all time..... http://www.nexcite.com

wow

[ADD_Boy]

morning all

[DBoy]

morning mate.

yawn.

[deviant]

Aparently that energy drink is meant to increase the female libido..... might buy a case of it

[ADD_Boy]

How's it going mang? been a long time , should have a beer soon.

I have dangerous levels of energy this morning!!! woo !!

[DBoy]

for sure. Had a big weekend, first one in a long time, feeling it for sure.

[lynt]

Likewise.

[youthful_implants]

Same here, I feel a bit empty inside.

[mrj]

Aparently that energy drink is meant to increase the female libido..... might buy a case of it

careful Dan, it might mess with your cycle