First Rental (help req)

[nhd]

Hello

so i have decided to move out with my gf to live in our own apartment.
Both of us have been living with family previously so have no rental history.

On the weekend we went to several inspections and applied for the only one we liked.

I understand that renting at the moment is hectic, but does anyone have tips and ideas to help me secure a place in the near future? dont want to do it for the next 4 months

[Fents]

6 months rent upfront should see you with a foot in the door no prob's. either that or offer em $10 more on the monthly rental price or bribe the real estate agent and ply him with beer.

[Feigan]

Bribe bribe bribe

[huge]

yeah pretty much bribe. get really friendly with an agent and get on their list etc.

go for places juuuuuust almost out of price range. usually this will cut out bag loads of cheap hippies that cant afford it.

[eN]

Also written references from say your bosses stating how reliable you are etc. This means less legwork for the RE agents.

[kronz]

yeah pretty much bribe. get really friendly with an agent and get on their list etc.

go for places juuuuuust almost out of price range. usually this will cut out bag loads of cheap hippies that cant afford it.

Thats what we did and it worked a treat!

[Lizkins]

even two months rent in advance works. we did that and they didn't even take the money, they were just happy knowing you had it. also "offering" to pay $10 more a week helps, again, they like knowing you can afford it.

and get in their face, talk to them while you are there, introduce yourself and call them and chat about the place.

it may feel crap, but sucking up works a treat

[Phyltr]

Most importantly make sure you look presentable when you go to inspect the property - think of it in similar terms to a job interview. First impressions are everything!

[andy_hoffman]

Blowjobs tbh

[kronz]

Most importantly make sure you look presentable when you go to inspect the property - think of it in similar terms to a job interview. First impressions are everything!

I wore a shirt and put gel in my hair n shit.

[nic]

real estate agents are scum, talk down to them, belittle them, threaten them - make them feel shit about who they are and what they are doing.

this is the only way they will operate / respond normally (except when under the influence of VB, cheap champagne and fake coke)

just remember - they are not human, they are lazy, jumped up little maggots.

you should buy a house.

[gnat]

defo be presentable

and defo attach a letter with a speil about yourselves- i hear photos are also appreciated- so they can put a face to a name after seeing you at inspection

agree- total scumbags. when i buy a place i'm going to invoke the wrath of 15 years renting upon their soulless heads

[mrj]

real estate agents are scum, talk down to them, belittle them, threaten them - make them feel shit about who they are and what they are doing.

this is the only way they will operate / respond normally (except when under the influence of VB, cheap champagne and fake coke)

just remember - they are not human, they are lazy, jumped up little maggots.

truer words have never been written on this or any other forum.

real estate agents are talentless, soulless, dishonest people. they will rip you as much as they can and stuff you about for their amusement. important to remember that the good real estate agents get put on selling houses, so the ones you are dealing with in rental are the bottom of a bad pile.

punch em in the face for me.

[witty_pseudonym]

good tips in hurr.
- presentation is a must
- schmooze them at the inspection and ask them lots of questions about the place so they can see you're interested.
- offer a little extra in the app...although they may not accept it. We did and they didn't accept it! Aren't offers of more weekly rent illegal now? I'm pretty sure they legislated when it got out of control. Extra month or two might get you over the line.
- the price bracket thing is a good one too. We went an extra $50p/w over our initial ammount and it more than halved the people at inspections.
- They love couples too, so you have that to back you up too. I nearly fucked up our little scam a number of times. Not a very good liar.

shitful process...but you might just luck it out and get the first one you loved like we did.

[ghetto kitty]

yes to most of the above...

but i swear, best ever is to pretend your gf is preggers.

they love the sweet young couple with a bun in the oven idea.

works for me and my gay friends who cant get houses on their own due to realators prejudice every time!

[breaksRbest]

- Have the application form already filled out when you go to see the place
- Attach a cover letter "we'll treat the place as if it was our own, blah, blah"
- Attach written character AND job references
- Don't attach a photo, they don't care what you look like
- Lie about your income & get your boss (or whoever you direct them to call) to back you up on it
- Blow them

[Lil MiSbreaks]

Basically they have too many things to do in their day and for their 10 rental cents. So takign away their work is win.

Make it as easy for them as you can, the less amount of work they have to do, the more appealing you are. They dont care in the end, why would they, they just have to fill the property as quickly as they can, and if you can help them to do that to choose you, then your in.

[mrj]

Some other tried and true techniques for 100% rental success

- Balance on your head and sing the Lebanese national anthem backwards in Italian in the lounge room of every house you inspect. They will be thrilled to gain a tenant who is both multilingual and coordinated

- Take an application form, rip it up into tiny little pieces, then throw it in the air and yell "Merry Christmas". Wait 5 mintues, then approach the agent and ask for another application form because you "lost yours". Repeat ad nauseam.

- Introduce yourself as "The Admiral" and constantly ask the agent throughout the inspection if the neighbourhood has had any trouble with "scurvy dogs"

- Turn up wrapped in tin foil and answer any question asked of you with "does not compute".

- Take your partner. Have sex in the shower.

[nhd]

well we got it!
very lucky as we were 2nd in the list, and 1st guy bailed for somewhere else!!

signed and paid today, its ours for 12 months!

some of your suggestions are hilarious.

[ghetto kitty]

congrats.

feels good dunnit?

i think everyone was being cereal, even mrj!

[Feigan]

so did you shag in the shower Nicko?

[nhd]

not yet

[Feigan]

well played

[Kaiproject]

- Introduce yourself as "The Admiral" and constantly ask the agent throughout the inspection if the neighbourhood has had any trouble with "scurvy dogs"

- Turn up wrapped in tin foil and answer any question asked of you with "does not compute".

- Take your partner. Have sex in the shower.

most i have lol'ed at a forum post in a while

congrats on getting a place so quickly! they usually go for highest combined income etc i rekn

[Sociopathic]

well we got it!
very lucky as we were 2nd in the list, and 1st guy bailed for somewhere else!!

signed and paid today, its ours for 12 months!

some of your suggestions are hilarious.

DEAR LORD!! That is beyond lucky, have you been paying homage to the gods or something? DId you sacrifice a goat?

My boyfriend and I spent 3months looking before we got accepted for a place.

Awesome for you though congrats.

[ADD_Boy]

congrats nhd..

where u gonna b livin?

LOL @ mrj

[Lizkins]

Some other tried and true techniques for 100% rental success

- Balance on your head and sing the Lebanese national anthem backwards in Italian in the lounge room of every house you inspect. They will be thrilled to gain a tenant who is both multilingual and coordinated

- Take an application form, rip it up into tiny little pieces, then throw it in the air and yell "Merry Christmas". Wait 5 mintues, then approach the agent and ask for another application form because you "lost yours". Repeat ad nauseam.

- Introduce yourself as "The Admiral" and constantly ask the agent throughout the inspection if the neighbourhood has had any trouble with "scurvy dogs"

- Turn up wrapped in tin foil and answer any question asked of you with "does not compute".

- Take your partner. Have sex in the shower.

fricken hell J you are hilarious

[Lizkins]

oh yeah, a handy thing to do now Nick (congrats btw!) is to make sure you write down every bit of damage, wear and tear that is in the place on that check list they give you. Check everything! Cos you don't want them turning around and blaming you for anything when you move out.

also email or send letters and keep copies of every dealings with them.