Simpsons Quote Thread

Post by **lynt** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:33 pm

www.snpp.com

Skinner: It's already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne, and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the Woodcock, and the Titpecker.

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:46 pm

This always reminds me of dboy when he's trashed..

Homer sends a post card to Marge from the Duff Brewery in Capitol City "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."

Post by **lynt** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:08 pm

Mellogs wrote:This always reminds me of dboy when he's trashed..

Homer sends a post card to Marge from the Duff Brewery in Capitol City "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."

hahahahahahahah

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:20 pm

I'm telling ya... its spot on dboy!

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:47 pm

"Anything's possible now that scientists have invented magic!"

Post by **lucas** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:19 pm

"Ooh, they have the Internet on computers now."

Homer J Simpson
CEO
Compu-Hyper-Global-Mega-Net

ctoafn_DMZ · Post by **ctoafn_DMZ** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:44 pm

My favourites

Homer and Burns chat when Homer is union president:

Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer.
We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] My God! He <is> coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle] [wink]
Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh! [aloud] Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious,
but the answer is no!

When Bart becomes Mr Burns heir............

Homer: "Bart, you're coming home."
Bart: "I want to stay here with Mr. Burns."
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: "Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
Well, go ahead -- do your worst!"

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:52 am

Beekeeper 1: Well, very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar
pile and selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: Bees are on the what now?
Beekeeper 2: Simpson, you diabolical...

And, moments later from the same episode

Bart: Lisa, here is -- as the French say -- le fake diorama. I'll
create a diversion and you make the switch.
[walks to center of gym]
Hey everybody, whoa! Look at me, I'm over here. Turn this
way right now!
Sherri: Hey, it's Bart!
Milhouse: And he's doin' stuff!
[everyone turns to look, fascinated]
[Lisa grabs Alison's diorama, leaves the other one there, and
hides Alison's in a trap door in the gym floor]
Skinner: Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!

hahaha classic[/quote]

Post by **lynt** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:53 am

ahahahahha

Simpson, you diabolical .... lol

mecka · Post by **mecka** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:20 am

man Ralph Wiggum would get a thread all to himself I reckon...

"oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"

valuetime · Post by **valuetime** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:36 am

bart: dad, do you wear boxers? or briefs?

homer: :peers down into beltline: nope!

Ani · Post by **Ani** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:54 am

"Jebus! Show me who to smite and they shall be smotten!"

Ani · Post by **Ani** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:56 am

Bart: What a beautliful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the bees are trying to have sex with them. As is my understanding.

dust · Post by **dust** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:03 am

Homer in Micronesia (one of the all time classic episodes)

Bart - Dad are you licking toads?

Homer - I'm not not licking toads

same o · Post by **same o** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:09 am

Ani wrote:Bart: What a beautliful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the bees are trying to have sex with them. As is my understanding.

that was my end of year quote for skool..

dust · Post by **dust** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:14 am

Homer gets stuck in quicksand in the elephant episode

First i'll reach down and pull my legs out with my arms

Then i'll pull my arms out...with my face

same o · Post by **same o** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:17 am

dust wrote:Homer gets stuck in quicksand in the elephant episode

First i'll reach down and pull my legs out with my arms

Then i'll pull my arms out...with my face

brilliant

Post by **lynt** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:23 am

dust wrote:Homer gets stuck in quicksand in the elephant episode

First i'll reach down and pull my legs out with my arms

Then i'll pull my arms out...with my face

ahhahaahha

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:33 am

lynt wrote:www.snpp.com

quick Posted: Thu Jan 27 wrote: http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml - Heaps and heaps of mp3 simpsons quotes from each season.

http://www.snpp.com/ - Full Simpsons archive, including the full script to every episode. Gold for proving your right when it comes to simpsons quotes...

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:45 am

dust wrote:Homer gets stuck in quicksand in the elephant episode

First i'll reach down and pull my legs out with my arms

Then i'll pull my arms out...with my face

straight after that one

Homer: I'm alive. I'm alive! And I owe it all to this feisty feline.
Lisa: Dad, "feline" means "cat".
Homer: Elephant, honey. It's an elephant!

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:51 am

Homer: Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals--except the weasel.

Troy McClure: HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!

Homer: I'm just passionate, like all us greeks.
Marge: No, you're angry. Look, you're punching the cat right now.
Homer: Oh my god, you're right! I'm a rage-aholic! I just can't live without rage-ahol!

Post by **lynt** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:03 pm

quick wrote:
lynt wrote:www.snpp.com

quick Posted: Thu Jan 27 wrote: http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml - Heaps and heaps of mp3 simpsons quotes from each season.

http://www.snpp.com/ - Full Simpsons archive, including the full script to every episode. Gold for proving your right when it comes to simpsons quotes...

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:04 pm

thanx

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:29 pm

quick wrote: Homer: Oh my god, you're right! I'm a rage-aholic! I just can't live without rage-ahol!

bahahah i forgot about that one!!!!!!1 i always hit the deck when I hear that line!!!!!

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:33 pm

Mellogs wrote:This always reminds me of dboy when he's trashed..

Homer sends a post card to Marge from the Duff Brewery in Capitol City "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."

hahaha that reminds me of my boy too. hahaha we are dating Homers

...actually it kinda sounds like me to my boy when i am drunk too

Lizkins · Post by **Lizkins** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:35 pm

flippo wrote:
quick wrote: Homer: Oh my god, you're right! I'm a rage-aholic! I just can't live without rage-ahol!
bahahah i forgot about that one!!!!!!1 i always hit the deck when I hear that line!!!!!

i almost just did. fuck that shit is funny as hell!

Mellogs · Post by **Mellogs** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:05 pm

Lizkins wrote:
Mellogs wrote:This always reminds me of dboy when he's trashed..

Homer sends a post card to Marge from the Duff Brewery in Capitol City "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."
hahaha that reminds me of my boy too. hahaha we are dating Homers

...actually it kinda sounds like me to my boy when i am drunk too

homer dating homer = homos

Post by **system** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:36 pm

lynt wrote:
quick wrote:
lynt wrote:www.snpp.com

quick Posted: Thu Jan 27 wrote: http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml - Heaps and heaps of mp3 simpsons quotes from each season.

http://www.snpp.com/ - Full Simpsons archive, including the full script to every episode. Gold for proving your right when it comes to simpsons quotes...

An Olympics organiser, on the Simpsons wrote:People, people, please! You're forgetting what the Olympics are all about: giving out medals of beautiful gold, so-so silver and shameful bronze.

(crowd murmurs) I have here a letter from a little girl named Lisa Simpson. She says her town might not be important enough to host the Olympics, but she asks if the torch could just past by so that she could experience the glow that we feel every day.

Well, I say we don't bring her the torch I say we bring her the Olympic Games. Who is with me?

(silence) Well, I don't care -- it's my decision.

RMHC · Post by **RMHC** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:42 pm

from the simpsons day episode, homer to lisa about lingwo the robot...

"i thought he was a party robot"

beer barron episode

"i'll get you beer barron"
quitely off in the distance
Homer "no you wont"

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:53 pm

Marge: What HAPPENED to you, Homer? And, what have you done to the car?
Homer: [getting out; annoyed] Nothin'.
Marge: I don't think it had broken axles _before_.
Homer: "Before, before." You're living in the past, Marge. Quit living in the past!

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:55 pm

(Bart): That's a hitch-hiker, Homer.
(Homer): Ooh, let's pick him up!
(Marge): No! What if he's crazy?
(Homer): And what if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:55 pm

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:56 pm

(Marge): Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
(Homer): Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:57 pm

You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:58 pm

(Lisa): Dad! You can't just leave us by ourselves, we need a baby-sitter!
(Homer): Lisa, haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come it'll be a hilarious situation...

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:59 pm

if u want me stop, say so...

(Bart): Hey, a chimp! Maybe he'll lead us to bananas.
(Homer drooling): Or more mouth-watering chimps

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:05 pm

* When Marge's aunt has died and the family is going to her funeral...
(Selma): It's the death of a legend.
(Homer's brain): Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman!
(Homer): Ha ha! The legend of the dog-faced woman!
(Marge): Homer!!
(Homer): Stupid brain.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:05 pm

* Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:06 pm

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!

RMHC · Post by **RMHC** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:06 pm

quick wrote:* When Marge's aunt has died and the family is going to her funeral...
(Selma): It's the death of a legend.
(Homer's brain): Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman!
(Homer): Ha ha! The legend of the dog-faced woman!
(Marge): Homer!!
(Homer): Stupid brain.

bwhahahaha stitches

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:07 pm

(Bart): Mo-om! My slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
(Marge): Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
(Homer on the phone): Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! ... I gotta go, my weiner kids are listening.

Post by **lynt** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:07 pm

ahahahhaah

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:08 pm

Hardy, this one's for you...

Homer: Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:10 pm

(Homer): You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
(Bart): Dad, what's the point of this story?
(Homer): I like stories.

Post by **lynt** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:12 pm

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:12 pm

(Homer): I will give up the civil war re-creation society I so dearly love.
(Bart): And I will take up smoking and give that up!
(Homer): Good boy, that's a tough thing to have to go through. Here's a dollar.
(Lisa): But he didn't DO anything!
(Homer): Didn't he Lisa, didn't he?

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:13 pm

(Mr Burns greeting guests): ...and this must be [looking down at card]..."Brat"
(Bart): Bart.
(Homer): Don't correct the man, Brat.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:13 pm

(Marge): Bart looks different.
(Homer): New glasses?
(Marge): He looks disturbed.
(Homer): Probably misses his old glasses.

quick · Post by **quick** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:14 pm

(Homer): Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.Â Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?
(Marge): That's because you were drunk.
(Homer): And how!

flippo · Post by **flippo** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:28 pm

anyone recon homer is the funnist fictional character ever made? I'm toying with the idea...

Melbourne Beats

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